Page 38 of Never the Same

“Yes, and I’d apologize for not being myself, but then we’d just be beating a dead horse—and wow, I hate that expression. Remind me never to use it again.”

“Noted.” And why was I smiling? I dragged my free hand across my mouth, not ready to turn around. “So, back to what you were saying.”

“About me joining you in Charleston?”

“Not happening.” I faced her, finding her in black jeans and a fitted black tank top. She only needed her hair in a French braid like normal and to be in combat boots instead of flats, and she’d look like herself. I wasn’t used to seeing her hair down around her shoulders like this, and the urge to tangle my fingers in it was pissing me off. “I was talking about the ‘you really didn’t do this to yourself’ part.” I even pulled out air quotes.

“Ah, that, yeah.” She stared at my arm, the one that still held evidence she’d sunk her nails into my skin. “I was searching for my great-grandfather’s book. Inside it were formulas. One of them, well . . . was designed to wipe our memories. He created it during the Cold War in case there was a need to protect secrets.”

I tried to digest what she’d rushed out as if it were a completely normal conversation to have.

“I was trying to find that book for that specific drug, a drug that was never actually tested out, though.”

What in the world? “You’re saying your family had a drug that can do to you what happened to you?”

“I’m saying we did have it. The library-vault the book was allegedly stored in was burned down in 1992, but I told Julian I believed the book wasn’t there at the time of the fire.” She quickly added more details involving the vault and book, finishing with, “But I’m proof such a drug is real, aren’t I?”

I didn’t know what to think. “Why didn’t Julian bring this up before now? It’s kind of important.”

“He said I asked him about it two-ish months ago, but he forgot all about it. Plus, he’s been busy and distracted with something.” She lifted a shoulder, a touch of defeat in her eyes.

She went to one of the two dressers in the room and rested her hands on it, bowing her head.

“All I know is that I can’t be here right now. Julian’s not telling me something about that book, and I think it’s because Gideon doesn’t want him to. Apparently, I didn’t even want Gideon to know I was searching for it. Talk about a red flag.”

What the hell?

“So nope, I don’t trust anyone here. Why stay? Plus, I only feel safe with you.”

Why’d I feel familiar to her when no one else did?

She pushed off the dresser and turned to face me. “I can’t do this without you. If they make you leave and I have to stay here? I’m doomed. I can feel it in my gut.”

“Hollis.” That was the best defense I had. A real winner, I know.

“You’re working this case even if they kick you out, yeah?”

I kept my distance, not trusting myself to be closer to her, and nodded.

“Wouldn’t you rather be near me while you figure things out?”

“Of course.” Shit, that came out far too fast.

“Good. It’s settled.”

What did I just walk into? Right, an ambush. “You can’t stay with Audrey. She’s pregnant and has a nine-year-old at home. You don’t want to endanger them.”

“She’s pregnant?” Her eyes widened. “Well then.” She massaged her chest with the heel of her hand. “Then what about staying with one of your other teammates?”

I gave her the reasons why it wouldn’t work for Ryder and Trevor, and that left us with one option, and something told me she knew we’d land there eventually.

Well played. But also, no damn way would she be staying with me.

The fragile life I’d barely kept together for five years, nine months, and some change would collapse with her under my roof. Each piece would crash into a single, irreparable mess. All that hard work . . . gone in a flash.

“No, it’s not possible. I’m sorry. I have no clue why you feel the way you do around me, but you can’t bunk with me.”

“Not with you with you.” Her hand skated around to the back of her neck. “Spare bedroom?”