Page 54 of Black Ledger

A deeper, darker voice replied, “No.”

Then I was out again.

I woke up freezing. My body shook so violently, I felt like I was convulsing. I whimpered, and someone clutched my face.

“I am so cold, so, so cold,” I croaked, my throat thick with cotton.

I jerked violently as he pulled me closer and someone else placed another blanket over me, along with a heating pad.

“Someone get her pain meds. They should lower her temperature.” Severin cradled me, rocking me back and forth and whispering into my hair.

My body was heavy. My bones felt like they were packed with wet sand; every movement was an effort. I was drenched in sweat. The dampness made the cold so much worse.

Exhaustion dragged me under again. I woke up apologizing. “I am so sorry. I didn’t mean⁠—”

“If you say one more word, I’m going to force those lips shut,” Severin growled into my hair. “You did absolutely nothing wrong.”

Except trusting awful frat boys.

Shame carved itself into my skin. I was so, so foolish. How could I be so stupid?

I groaned. “I said no.”

“I know you did.” He rocked me back and forth. “I know you did.”

“Don’t be mad at me.”

“There isn’t a world where I could ever be mad at you,” Severin whispered, his lips grazing my ear. “Never.”

I buried my face in his chest because he was the one place I felt safest in the world, and in this moment, I didn’t think about how he would never be mine, how he wanted to fuck every girl on this campus, or how we could never be a thing.

I let myself have this.

I stopped fighting reality—the impossible future—and I just let the most important friend in my life hold me.

He could take care of me, and it was okay for me to like it.

For just a moment.

“I am going to kill him,” he whispered, his voice coated in poison. “I am going to torture him and kill him.”

“Okay.” My voice disappeared into his white T-shirt.

“Do you want to help?” he asked.

I bit the inside of my cheek. “No, I never want to see him alive again.”

Under any other circumstance, I would have helped. But the thought of seeing Chad again made my stomach churn.

Bile rose in my throat.

No. I couldn’t do it.

I closed my eyes for a moment to rest, but that moment turned into hours, and by the time I woke up again, the sun assaulted me, pouring through the windows. All the curtains were open. I groaned and threw a pillow over my face.

Severin was no longer in bed with me.

Once the sunlight stopped trying to carve my eyes out, and I finally adjusted to the light, I took in my surroundings.