Page 19 of Black Ledger

My vision blurred as I stared at the fluorescent lights. My hearing dulled beneath a roar of panic as a memory locked itself into my mind. A blur. The swirl of colors and light. Not being able to see anything but purple. Purple. The horrible, deep, awful color—agony tearing me apart because I knew what purple meant.

Purple meant death.

I swallowed hard and blinked, my vision slowly returning.

It wasn’t true anymore.

None of it.

But my heart still sank to my toes because purple would always haunt me. I blinked again, and my gaze focused on Dr. Hayes, my former enemy and now close friend. The Order destroyed all women, even the ones working for them.

“Sorry, what did you say? I wasn’t paying attention.” I pressed my palms to the table and tried to center myself.

“Clearly, you went somewhere else.” Gemma cocked her head and stared at me like a crow assessing whether I was a danger.

My throat worked, and I nodded.

We were sitting in the break room at Saint Grace Hospital. I was visiting my friends at work since Neeve and Gemma were both on shift, and neither had surgery at the moment. Neeve was a heart surgeon, and Gemma was a general surgeon.

They were brilliant leaders in their field. Although sometimes they were penis-removers as well.

The break room at the hospital was simple: with two tables and chairs, a couch where Neeve was sprawled, and a TV mounted on the wall playing the nightly news. It played softly, like background music in a café.

We were the only three people in the room because I had locked the door intentionally. It probably wouldn’t be a good practice to discuss my serial-killing habits within earshot of others—especially doctors. Doctors who had taken the do-no-harm oath. An oath these two interpreted very liberally. After all, they both helped me hunt down the Lethe—the men who held me for three years doing unspeakable things to me—and take care of them in varied and inventive ways.

“I asked what Severin asked you to do when you were alone with him at Nemain Manor,” Gemma repeated once she knew I was listening.

“He asked her to hack into the Russian mafia’s ledgers and look for rats,” Neeve said, shoving a pillow over her face. “There is too much light in here.”

She was on hour twenty-three of her twenty-four-hour shift, and she was so ready to go home and sleep. I was here to drive her because, after everything we’d been through, I was not going to let her die in a car crash.

“You can’t be serious.” Gemma’s hand went to her mouth, and she rubbed it. “That might be the perfect way for you to hunt down the Headmaster, the Man in Black, or the Gold Mask.”

There were hundreds—probably thousands—of Lethean Order members we hadn’t unmasked yet. Unfortunately, we were no closer to unmasking the top two from my cell. Since I began hunting them, I had learned that the organization was set up like a terrorist cell. Members knew only the identities of the people directly above or beside them, but no one knew everyone or the identity of the person running it all. From what I had discovered, there were multiple Headmasters.

But there was only one Gold Mask… at least as far as I could find.

The cult was like a hydra. We’d cut off one head, and another would pop up in its place. Each cell tended to kidnap one girl and use her for as long as she was deemed a good investment. And when she was no longer valuable, they would kill her and start the process all over again.

My mission was to find active cells and rescue the girls while also hunting down all the Lethean members who harmed me. It was a daunting, never-ending task, and I didn’t have time to focus on anything else.

So far, we had rescued eight women. Not nearly enough. Eleven, if you counted Neeve, Gemma, and me.

But I didn’t think it was right to count myself, considering everything and considering how I had escaped. It didn’t feel like it should count.

“Yeah, that’s what I was hoping, too,” I finally responded.

“Plus, it gives her access to fuck with Severin’s finances, too. That’s a huge win.” Neeve’s voice was muffled from underneath the pillow.

“Yes, but we’ll have to be very careful with that information because I don’t want to move too quickly.” I rolled my neck, trying to relieve some of the tension. “Taking down the cells is still our first responsibility.”

“Of course. And you’re not saying that because you still might have feelings for Severin and don’t want to actually destroy him?” Neeve sat up and let the pillow drop to her lap.

I shook my head once. “I don’t have feelings for Severin Volkov.”

“Tell that to your face.”

I glowered at my best friend.