Page 97 of Fall Over You

My head sags back on my shoulders. “Don’t shoot them at all. Becca’s festival is outside. We don’t want gunshots ruining it. We’re just rounding them up and taking them . . . somewhere.”

“Ain’t gonna be my farm,” Jake muses. “Darcy’ll never sleep again if these things touch our house.”

“Actually, that’s a good point,” Caleb says. “Where are we taking them after we get them in the cages?”

Dusty and I eye each other, considering the answer. We start to nod before we both say, “The lumberyard.”

We hated the Denton boys in school and their family owns the lumberyard. When Becca made that desperate phone call for me to come get her, she was at the Dentons’ house. I’m fine keeping this rivalry going. Dusty and I don’t do nearly as much mischief as we used to. What’s a few raccoons between enemies?

“Okay. Gloves on, fellas. We slip in one by one so none get out. Do your best. Look out for each other. No man left behind,” Dusty says.

I roll my eyes and mutter under my breath as I remove the chair from under the doorknob. “Going in.”

“Copy. Godspeed. Love you, brother,” Dusty says until he’s muffled by the closed door.

Things have seriously devolved since last night. A mama and several babies have joined the party. Some clothes from Becca’s closet have been formed into nests in various spots in the room. The cigarette stash is being guarded by an especially ferocious-looking raccoon with a broken leg. It hisses at me as I settle against the wall.

“I need backup!” I shout.

Dustin bursts into the room. “Got you, brother!” His shriek sounds higher than what his sister is capable of. “What’s wrong with that one?”

I take a deep breath and open my trap’s door, slowly approaching it. “Here, kitty.”

Jake’s face pokes in the door. “There’s cats too?”

“No, just get in here,” Dusty hisses.

Jake and Caleb push inside as I close in on Ol’ Broken Leg.

“You like cigarettes?” I try. “Tons of smokes right in here.”

Broken Leg lunges at me and I flatten myself against the wall.

But something else is happening. The raccoons are gathering around Jake, one of them even putting its paws on his jeans leg.

“Gross!” Caleb shouts.

“Aw, they’re kinda cute, guys,” Jake says. “Hey, little buddy.”

He starts to crouch and the rest of us bark “no!” It does nothing to stop him, nor the raccoons. They press in closer to Jake, starting to climb on him in earnest. “Ok, whoa⁠—”

“They’re not horses,” Caleb says.

“Well, do something!” Jake insists, then notices where a few of them are pawing. “Oh, shit, my peanut butter crackers and mints.”

“You came in here with food?” I demand.

“They’re animal bribes. I always keep them,” he shrugs.

“Hang on, that should work,” Caleb says. “Sprinkle some of that stuff in the traps and we can just wait.”

“I don’t know that it’s gonna last that long,” Jake says. “If I stand up, they’re coming with me. Just pluck them off me.”

The three of us laugh as one starts to paw at Jake’s pocket furiously, chattering at its friends.

“This is really disgusting,” I moan.

“Can we just have you walk through the house with them following you out the door?” Dusty tries.