Page 11 of Rubbing One Out

Daeliel strolled over and peered innocently into it too. “What’s wrong?”

“That.” Ben pointed to the cage, his eyes rounded in shock. “What the hell is he doing in there?”

Daeliel frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, what the fuck is he doing in the cage?”

Daeliel wasn’t quite sure where this was heading, but he sensed something wasn’t going quite the way he’d planned it. He chose levity and a patronising attitude to help him through it.

“Well, unless he’s grown opposable thumbs and can open the door himself, where else would he be?”

Ben’s face darkened. “Pookums died in the night. I noticed this morning when I came to check on him before I went to work. I buried him out in the garden. So how the fuck did he get back in here?” His face brightened. “Unless you had something to do with this. Did you bring him back to life? You said you couldn’t do that. Actually, I wouldn’t want you to anyway, given what happened in Pet Sematary.” A visible shudder ran through his body. “If you can, I’m not sure that’s wise, considering how that turned out for everyone.”

Daeliel blinked. He had no idea what Ben was talking about but made a mental note to Google it later. It sounded—entertaining.

“Oh, you think it’s dead?” he said. He reached into the cage with his long finger and prodded it. “Hmm. It does seem rather unresponsive. It must have had a heart attack or something. Poor thing.”

“He died of old age,” Ben said between gritted teeth. “My original question stands. How did he find his way out of the garden grave I dug and into here?” He leaned in and sniffed. “Why does he smell of apples?”

Daeliel glared at Tess, who he was sure was grinning a blue streak at his predicament. Just you wait, he promised, hoping she could hear him. I am so going to get you for this one.

Wait a minute—Pookums? He snickered.

“So?” Ben demanded.

Daeliel sighed. “It appears I have been fooled. I found the little creature on the doormat when I got home. I thought he’d gotten out the cage and the beast here had killed him. It appears now she must have dug him up and brought him inside.”

“You thought you’d put him back in the cage? Why?” Ben’s perplexed look was epic.

“I thought you would be mad at her for killing him, so best I put him back in the cage and allow you to think he died naturally,” Daeliel said stiffly. “I, er, washed him before I did so.”

“You washed a dead guinea pig and put it back in its cage, so I didn’t get angry,” Ben said dazedly. “Wow. I don’t even know what to say to that.”

He looked from Tess to Daeliel, and his shoulders began to shake. At first, Daeliel thought he was crying. When Ben looked up again, the tears on his face fell in laughter, not grief.

“This is surreal. Oh my god. It’s too funny, no disrespect, Pookums, but if you were still here, you’d be chuckling too.” He went off in another hooting bout of merriment.

“I don’t think guinea pigs chuckle.” Daeliel scowled. Really, who knew what humans would do next? They were such unpredictable creatures. “However, I’m glad you find my lapse in judgment amusing.”

Ben wiped his eyes and rubbed his nose. “Sorry, but you have to admit, it’s hella funny.” His face softened. “Honestly? I think what you did was sweet, trying to protect Tess.” He nudged Daeliel’s arm with his elbow. “Seems you have quite the soft side to you.”

Daeliel sniffed. “I did what I thought was right.” As he said the words, echoes of Aether saying the same thing drifted into his memory. He forced them out. “Would you like me to redress my action?”

Ben looked at him with a frown. “What exactly does that mean?” He opened the cage and reached inside, picking Pookums up gently and cradling the little body in his hands. “If you mean do I want to put him back where he should be, I’ll do it.” The reverence with which Ben treated his pet almost brought a lump to Daeliel’s throat. He swallowed to make it go away.

Ben walked toward the open back door and the garden. “I’ll lay him to rest—again—and then we can discuss what we’re having for dinner. I thought perhaps we’d order in some Chinese?”

“That would be fine,” Daeliel said, his mouth watering at the thought of a little garlic shrimp and some soy sauce noodles.

Ben nodded and disappeared into the darkening evening.

***

“As you’re my guest, tell me about yourself,” Ben mumbled as he shovelled another mouthful of delicious moo shoo pork into his mouth. Across from him, Dae sat, enjoying his tasty dish. “I think I need to know more about the man staying at my house.”

A man who looked exceptionally handsome tonight.

Daliel was dressed in a midnight blue tight silky tee-shirt and a pair of black jeans that moulded to his every curve. His straight hair hung around his sexy cheekbones and strong jaw, giving him the striking look of a regal prince. Ben could see him cast as such in a Disney film. He knew he’d drool over the character.