Page 47 of Sight Unseen

He wanted me as much as I wanted him. The words he’d spoken in that unguarded moment the other night had caused my heart to race and my pulse to quicken. A door had opened and I wanted so badly to walk through it, to tell him the truth about how I felt. The spark I’d banked from twelve years ago now burned brighter than before.

He tasted of sea and sunshine and home. His arms around me felt right, his mouth on mine a symphony of every tune I’d ever loved.

God, why the hell have we waited so long to do this? It feels so damn right.

He was mine and this time, I wasn’t going to let him go for anyone. No threats, veiled or otherwise, were going to keep me from him.

His lips parted as I sought entrance and his heart beat against my chest, keeping rhythm with my own.

The kiss was tentative, almost awkward, but his mouth was warm and wet and heavenly, and when his tongue tangled with mine, I responded. The kiss grew fiercer as he took my mouth eagerly, greedily. I groaned and he pressed against me closer, his hardness poking me in the stomach.

There was no doubt he wanted me the same way I wanted him. The chemistry was still there and I wondered hazily how we’d ever avoided it. With this level of heat, we should have sparked up like fireworks then exploded like a supernova.

My guilt and fear, the things that had torn us apart so many years ago now, were a distant memory as Cody’s body pressed against mine. Any reservations I’d had about us being together fled, leaving only my need and desire for the man currently exploring my mouth.

Hallelujah because this? This is where I belong. Fuck the past.

My cock ached, my body thrummed and I wanted to be wrapped up by everything that was Cody Fisher.

The only thing I regretted was not being able to see him. I had my memories of us now, and then, but to be able to see his face flushed with desire—for me… Yeah, I would always miss that.

I protested when Cody’s lips left mine and I reached out only to find empty space.

The dream kiss faded and I was left bereft.

“What the hell is this, Nate? Rebound sex with your best friend?” Cody’s unsteady voice laced with pain brought me back to reality. “I know you said you wanted to jack off together, but maybe you don’t remember, I declined your kind offer?”

I raised a finger to my swollen lips and shook my head vehemently. “No, that’s not it at all. You’ve got it all wrong.”

Oh God, I’ve made a mess of this. I need to get him to listen to me.

“Have I? You couldn’t make it with Blu, so you decided to come here and see if I’d changed my mind. So, you heard me the other night baring my soul. Big deal. No strings, no ties, you said, remember?” Cody’s voice shook. “Well, I’m sorry, but I can’t do that with you. Never with you.”

The screen door squeaked open then slammed shut and I guessed he’d had gone out onto the deck.

Feeling helpless at being able to reassure Cody that what he was suggesting wasn’t the case at all, I stood stock still, my stomach in knots.

I have to fix this. I have to.

I turned and retraced the steps to my chair to get my cane. Then I followed to where I’d heard him go. I’d spent a lot of time at his house and muscle memory was a great thing. I knew his home as intimately as I knew my own.

His erratic breathing told me where he was. I walked over and stood at his side. I reached out, happy when I found his arm even though it was stiff with tension.

“You got it wrong,” I said quietly. “I had no intention of asking you to be my fuck buddy and I’m not making fun of how you feel. I’m sorry I asked you to jack off together when I was stoned. I didn’t mean to dis you. It’s why I’m here now.”

Visualizing where I stood was easy to conjure; we were on the wooden deck, a few feet above the beach. It was dark, of course, as my world always was, but in the distance there’d be twinkling lights from the curved shoreline.

Behind me, Cody’s rambling beach house would be awash with muted lights, splashes of vibrant jeweled color, and the canvas paintings from one his favorite artists, Clem Jobber, would be hung crookedly on the walls. Cody was great in the gallery but when it came to his own artwork displays, he couldn’t hang a picture straight to save his life. It had been one of the things I’d done for him over the years.

His breathing had slowed and he was still silent. To our left, someone shouted, laughed and it went quiet again.

I took a deep breath.

Here goes nothing. I doubt I can fuck it up any worse.

“You want to know why I couldn’t get into Blu?”

Beside me the air shifted and became fraught with what I could only think of was anticipation mixed with something else. Hope. I took solace from that.