Page 37 of Sight Unseen

Calloused fingers touched my lips, shushing me. “Nate, it’s fine, honest. I don’t expect to go out with you every time. Suzanne and you deserve some party time together.”

I huffed, feeling that somehow I’d let him down. “I wasn’t sure I’d go, but you know Suzanne. She’s a damn bully.”

He snickered. “You got that right.”

The room fell silent, the atmosphere between us awkward.

Did I say something wrong? Christ, I wish I could see his face. He always showed everything there. I hate having to interpret everything through tone and innuendo.

I tried to fill the silence. “I forgot to tell you. Jon came by last week and collected his stuff, and he paid money into my bank account to ‘compensate’ me. It was fucking guilt money and I asked the bank to send it back to him. He hasn’t been in touch since.”

In recent weeks, I’d heard from friends that Jon’s relationship status had gone from “in a relationship” to “single” then back to “in a relationship” again. According to my sources, Caleb looked damn smug with his arms around Jon in every photo that appeared on Facebook.

To be honest, although I regretted what had happened, I wasn’t as gutted about it as I would have thought I’d be.

Cody shifted, his footfall moving over to the other side of the room. “I’ve seen it all on Facebook,” he muttered. “He’s a dickwad and you’re better off without him.”

True. I wasn’t sure why I’d put up with all his shit when we’d been together as a couple. Especially when Caleb had been around. The last six weeks since he’d left me had been tough only as it applied to learning to live alone unsighted. But I was happier now than I’d been in over a year.

The little fridge opened—Cody was probably helping himself to the fruit I kept in a bowl in there. What was it with him and my fruit?

“Anyway, I need to get off.” He closed the fridge. “Rachel’s expecting me back to meet a client. I just wanted to bring you your donut and coffee fix.”

Disappointed but I understood. Work was work and Cody had sacrificed a lot of work time to babysit me.

Warm arms wrapped around me in a hug. “Try be a little more patient, and let that muse on your shoulder do his thing. Stop beating yourself up when it doesn’t go how you want it to at that moment. You’re awesome, dude. Remember that.” A warm hand caressed my cheek. “Believe in yourself, Nate. I do.”

Another squeeze of my arm and Cody was gone, leaving me with a deep sense of loss.

***

Later that week, while I worked down in the studio, I considered the new club Suzanne was dragging me to called The Empty Closet. It had opened a few months ago amidst great fanfare and celebration, and was apparently the “in” place for any self-respecting gay man to be seen. I wasn’t so sure I was ready, but I’d promised Suzanne.

Perhaps I might find someone who I’d want to start a relationship with and put my recent obsession with Cody out of my head.

I wasn’t a one-night-stand kind of guy. I preferred to date and see where it took us rather than have sex with strangers. I wasn’t looking for anything special, but I was tired of jacking off to the porn film track in my head.

My inner voice sniggered.

Yeah, a porn track that involves a certain someone who makes you come like a rocket.

Go to hell. I’m going out to have fun and to forget about him.

More fun than when you think about him naked, sweaty and pounding your ass?

I swatted the voice away with a mental hand.

Shut the fuck up.

I’d lost track of time working the clay, and it was only when I heard a knock on the door that I was roused back to the real world. I ignored the knock, intent on getting the curve of the face right. The door squeaked open and a soft voice insinuated itself into my musings.

“Nate? You in here?” The light switch clicked on and I turned at the sound of Suzanne’s voice.

“Yeah.” My voice was husky from disuse and I let go of the clay and stretched. My fingers tingled, my hands ached and the old familiar dull throb of a pain in my shoulders made itself known.

Soft fabric brushed against my bare arm. “It’s late already,” she said. “We’re supposed to leave for the club. You’re not even dressed yet.”

I reached out and moved my hands over the head I’d been shaping. “Give me a minute and I’ll get changed. It won’t take me long. Sorry, I lost track of time.”