Page 534 of Manhattan Bossholes

“And why is that? You both seemed so adorable and flirty at Christopher’s birthday party.”

“I might’ve made some poor choices,” I said through gritted teeth, hating her good-natured candor because deep down I knew that she was right.

Christopher stopped walking and doubled over with laughter. “Poor choices? Bro, you shit the bed.”

I kept walking and noticed that they didn’t hurry to catch up with me.

The butterfly room felt like an oasis in the city, and I tried to follow the advice I’d read in my new mindfulness book, which was part of my journey to try to figure out my fucked-up life.

Be here now. Don’t run away from discomfort. Tune into your thoughts.

I chuckled. I lived my entire life so that I could avoid listening to my thoughts. I liked action, not introspection.

And worse, every time I turned inward, all I could find was a Natalie-sized hole.

I could see Christopher and Julia through the foliage. They were giggling and acting stupid, pretending to use the oversized leaves as hats as if there was no one around. I couldn’t recall the last time I’d seen my brother behaving this way, and it struck me that despite everything stacked against him, he’d managed to scale it all and fight his way to happiness.

I started to feel claustrophobic in the overly warm room. I tried to distract myself by reading the placards about the butterflies, but the words swam together.

“Hey,” Christopher said after we’d navigated the entirety of the vivarium. “Let’s grab coffee.”

Instead of ducking out, which was what I wanted to do, I agreed. Maybe the pair’s happy vibe would eventually rub off on me? I realized that I’d made a mistake the moment we sat down at the table in the museum coffee shop with our drinks.

“So, we both decided that you need some advice,” Christopher said, glancing at Julia. She nodded.

“Okay, now just hold on.” I groaned. “I’m not asking for advice. I’m⁠—"

Christopher held up his hand to stop me. “As your older brother, I’m commanding you to listen to me.”

Julia giggled.

“Hear me out, okay?” He cleared his throat. “I just want you to know that I saw a totally different side of you when you and Natalie were hanging out. Yeah, you were still my dorky little brother,” he shot me a grin because we both knew how far that was from the truth, “but you had an…an ease about you that I’d never seen before. You weren’t the usual grumpy, totally anal-retentive James Branson.”

I bristled at his description. “I prefer organized.”

He waved his hand at me. “Whatever. The point I’m trying to make is that Natalie brought out the best in you. I mean, James Branson dancing? I never thought I’d see the day.”

I sighed. “You can’t base a relationship on that sort of thing. We were just having fun.”

“But there was more to it, and you know it,” he scoffed. “The two of you were kicking ass at work. She told me about how you got to the point where you could almost read each other’s thoughts when you were on a project.”

“We did work well together,” I agreed reluctantly.

“You were happy with Natalie, bro,” Christopher said, giving me a gentle kick to my calf beneath the table. “Admit it.”

I cleared my throat and took a long draw of coffee to buy myself time.

“It’s probably not my place to say anything, but I can’t help it,” Julia’s voice was soft as she leaned forward to put her elbows on the table and stare at me. “I’m an observer. It’s my nature. I like watching people. And James, I saw the way Natalie looked at you on Christopher’s birthday. She sparkled.”

Christopher chuckled. “Yeah, I’m surprised you didn’t notice since you barely stopped staring at her the whole night.”

I shifted uncomfortably. I didn’t like thinking about the night, especially what happened in my car afterwards. The intimacy of our conversation, and then the kiss that changed everything.

“Tell us about the Heidi debacle,” Christopher said. “With all of my drama, we haven’t really had a chance to talk about it. Was any of that for real, or was it all just a publicity stunt? Was it even your idea?”

“It wasn’t real at all.” I shook my head, feeling more weary by the minute. “And no, it wasn’t my idea. When she showed up, she caught all of us off guard, and pretending it was planned was the only way I could do damage control. If I caused a scene the show would’ve gotten lost in the shuffle of the scandal. So, I just…pretended. And when I realized how well it was being received by the press and public, I decided that it was best for the company to keep pretending.”

“And obviously Natalie had a problem with that,” Julia said with a nod. “Oof, not good.”