Page 52 of A Daddy to Love

There were a total of five doors leading into the humungous garage. I only used the first one. The door opened when I touched a switch on the dash. I drove slowly in.

Lights popped on showing a huge area for cars. And there were many. Grandfather loved to collect classics and antiques. There were about a dozen of them. The limo was at the far end.

I said nothing. Daddy said nothing.

I sniffed and opened my door. As I turned, a hand touched my arm, pressing down. I glanced over my shoulder.

“Baby, you said your grandfather died. Whose place is this?”

“Um. Well. Mine.”

“This was where you grew up?”

Gulping, I nodded. “I was raised here. Most of my life.”

“Who else lives here?”

“Um, well, Sorel lives in quarters out back. The cooks and housekeepers have families they go home to every night. Donny, the limo driver, has an apartment out back but he comes and goes. And the gardeners and gate guards work shifts. They don’t live here.”

“So, you live here alone?”

I tilted my head. The question was simple, but not. People came and went. They took care of the place. Sorel was currently the only one living on the property. So technically I wasn’t alone.

“No. Sorel’s always around.”

“But you are the only one actually living inside this house?”

“For four years. Yes.”

I couldn’t read his face. His body looked frozen.

To break the tension, I lifted my chin and said in my big boy voice, “C’mon, Daddy. I’ll show you around.”

My heart pumped furiously for no reason. I trusted Daddy now. But my anxiety fed itself. This was a pretty big secret I’d kept from him.

We moved toward the inner door. I keyed in the code and it opened onto a back foyer, marble-floored, with closets for jackets and a table where fresh flowers bloomed from an artisan vase. Sorel ordered the flowers daily for placements throughout the first floor. Grandfather liked to have the scent of more than cleanser following him around. After his death, I kept up the routine.

I wanted to take Daddy’s hand as we moved forward, but I was afraid. What if he saw me differently now? What if he didn’t want to touch me anymore?

“This way.” I made my voice sound light and airy.

Behind me, his shoes padded gently on the marble.

My insides shook. I could barely breathe. I was sure I would faint here and now. But I kept putting one foot in front of the other. I knew this place backward and forward. I could give a tour of it in my sleep.

Daddy followed me as I moved quickly from room to room downstairs. When we passed the kitchen, some great food smells lingered. I pointed at things like paintings and the big fireplace but hopped on to other rooms and objects before he could ask questions. My daddy was polite. He would never interrupt. I showed him the gym by walking through it as fast as possible.

I was already panting as I led us upstairs. So far, Sorel had now shown up. For which I was grateful. Later for that.

Finally, he spoke. “Slow down. Just a bit, please.”

I spun fast, then turned away. I got enough of a glimpse of him to see wide eyes as he turned his head back and forth to take in everything. But I still didn’t know his emotional state.

I headed to one of my favorite rooms first. My toy room. I had only played in here with a few people from my life. Mostly, it was me alone. It wasn’t that Grandfather didn’t allow my friends to come over. That was all on me. Kids became easily jealous. I found that out at an early age. I’d lost friends over my toy room. Only my bestest friends came in here with me. And usually, I bribed them to be kind and not go away. That almost made me feel worse.

I pointed quickly at all the things, listing them as if it was all some boring chore sheet.

“Skee ball over there. Air hockey.” I ran my hand over the chrome rail. “Pacman. More old video games. Grandfather owned an arcade once. My two crane games were fun for a while until I won all the stuffies inside. They got refilled but my shelves were full.” I patted them on their glass sides. “And this is my train.” It was a rideable train, big enough to hold even adults, and the track ran all along the walls of the room in a big oval. I turned it on and watched it go at its slow pace tootling along the tracks.