Page 59 of The Highland Heir

“Yes, Kieran will be married to the MacKenzielass as soon as the annulment is complete. Rolfe won’t risk adelay.”

“I want to be the stalwart friend when hereturns with his bride, but I do not think I can stand to see himagain. I fear having to sit at the feast will thoroughly break myalready severely chipped heart.”

Teague nodded. “Then you should go back toJenny. She wrote and told me a certain Sutherland lad has beenasking after ye. Jenny told me if he were to ask for your hand Iwas to say yes. Even still, I wrote to William to get his opinionof the lad, and he speaks highly of the man. Perhaps your futurehappiness lies in Kildary.”

“I can’t imagine having to spend my life witha war chief,” she said, making it seem like the worst possiblefuture. Her father laughed at her, as she had hoped.

“Can he make you happy?” he asked, seriousonce more.

“I think, maybe, one day Arran Sutherlandcould make me happy. If I could allow myself to let go of theperson I can’t have.”

“I’ve spent the last twenty years watching agood friend cleave to what he lost and turn away from everythingthat might bring him happiness.” Her father glanced over to wherethe laird was being armored. “I don’t want that for you, Ella.Kieran was never to be yours.”

“I know. I have known that all my life. And Ithought I had done a good job of keeping him in a place where Iwould not want more. But it just happened without my allowingit.”

Her father pulled her close and kissed thetop of her head.

“Aye. These things have a habit of sneakingup on us when we are not looking and catching us unaware. But youcan move on and find the person who is meant to be yours. If thisArran offers for you, and Jenny likes him, then I approve of thematch. Ye can tell my sister I said so—not that she would care whatI say.”

Ella nodded.

“Perhaps if we wed as soon as I arrive, Iwill be able to avoid this pain. Being married must be better thanbeing left behind when Kieran marries.”

“Give yourself some time to heal before youmove on. Or at least enough time to know you are doing it for theright reason. There is no set time for these things. And it isn’tfair to this Arran to be used to save you from heartache.”

“You never moved on from mama,” she pointedout.

He shrugged. “That was not because Icouldn’t. I had you, and mayhap I was too stubborn to have tochange our ways to accommodate another person in our lives.”

“A stubborn Scot? I’ve never heard of such athing.”

They shared a shaky laugh, and she turnedserious again.

“Do you think you might be ready to look forsomeone to spend the rest of your life with after I go off toKildary?”

“Perhaps. I’ll miss you something awful. Imay come visit you and never leave. But first I must see to theCampbells.”

She nodded.

“I will wish ye well. And I will see you whenyou come to Kildary to visit.”

“Aye. I’ll leave Horrace behind to escort yeto the Ross keep.”

“Thank you for understanding. Please don’ttell Kieran I don’t plan to return. It is best this way.”

“From the looks of things, I may not see himuntil we get to the Campbells.” He frowned at the gate where Kieranhad gone. “I’m sorry you’re hurting, love. I hope you will findhappiness at Kildary.”

She wished for the same but worried it wouldbe impossible to find happiness in Kildary when her heart remainedhere with Kieran Sinclair.

When all the soldiers had gone, Ella didn’treturn to the kitchens. She couldn’t for fear she might break downinto a mess of tears if someone so much as looked at her. Instead,she left through the postern gate and headed for the beach.

There, in the place where she and Kieran hadshared their every secret, she screamed out at the angry sea,hoping the crashing waves would take her pain with them when theyreturned to the ocean.

She slumped down among the sand-smoothedrocks, sobbing and screaming until she was thoroughly spent.

When she was able to stand and see where shewas going, she headed toward the cottage she’d shared with herfather. She packed up her few belongings and left her home.

Forever.