Page 73 of Her Reluctant Highlander Husband

“Where is he?” she asked Cam.

The large man frowned and patted her shoulder. “It’s nothing to do with you. He was broken before ye arrived.”

She didn’t have to bend over far to hug her dog. “Thank you for being my first friend here. Thank you for keeping me safe. Look after Bryce. Keep him safe and make him play with you.” She kissed Rascal’s bristly fur and gave him a scratch behind the ears.

“I’ll hold him so he doesn’t follow after you,” Cam said with pity in his eyes.

She gave a nod and paused a few seconds longer before allowing her father to hand her up to her seat. With another wave to everyone, they were moving through the gates and off to England.

Fear and panic clogged her throat. What if this was a mistake? What if her life would never be better than this and she was throwing it all away? She had people here who cared for her. Friends. Her loyal hound. A husband who was kind.

It isn’t enough. The admonition filled her mind.

She tried her best to hide her tears, but they got the best of her.

“Shhh, child,” her father said, pulling her close to offer comfort. It was a nice gesture, but it did little to alleviate the pain she experienced as her heart shattered.

How had Bryce survived this kind of agony for so long?

“It will be better soon. Time has a way of easing the pain.”

She knew from Bryce that the pain didn’t ease. The memories faded, but that wasn’t the same thing at all. And even when she stopped thinking of him as much, when she did it would still hurt.

“It’s never completely gone,” she said. She’d seen the way Bryce and her father wore that pain, had carried it for years.

“No. I suppose not. I’m sorry. But you do learn to live around it. We’ll find someone who will love you so you won’t notice as much.”

She couldn’t imagine trying to find someone else at the moment. Even if it were possible to ride into her father’s estate in Durham and find the perfect gentleman waiting for her when she stepped down from the carriage, she didn’t think her heart would risk it. Nothing could be worth suffering like this again.

“If it makes you feel any better, I would guess Bryce isn’t dealing with your departure very well. If he were, he would have been able to be there to say goodbye.”

“Ye think he was too distraught with my leaving to come to the bailey and wish me off?” She laughed through her tears at the thought. “I’m sorry, Father, but I’m sure you have it wrong. My guess is he didn’t come because he forgot I was leaving. It will probably be a week before he notices I’m gone.”

Maybe it wouldn’t take a week. He might actually miss her at night when his bed was empty. Unless it didn’t remain empty for long. He was free to do whatever he wanted now. She’d released him from his obligation.

The tears came again, and this time they flowed for a long time.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Bryce didn’t think he could hurt any more than he did already. He hadn’t expected the tiny fragments of his heart to throb in pain as he watched the carriage roll away. From his view on the battlements, he could watch the carriage until it turned into nothing but a dot that disappeared behind the trees.

Dorie was gone.

She was going to England to find a new husband. Someone worthy of her. Someone who could love her the way she deserved. A man better than him.

He stayed where he was until the sun set and the last of the glow had disappeared over the horizon. He sat even when his stomach protested his neglect. He merely stacked that pain onto the pile with the other pains.

When he was certain everyone had gone to bed, he went to his own. He lay there in the dark, breathing in the scent of his wife and remembering the times they’d shared in the short time they’d had together. He spent a restless night thinking and second-guessing his decision to let her go. The honorable man he wished to be warred with the selfish bastard he was.

Eventually honor won out, but dawn had broken by then.

Bad-tempered and miserable, he went to the hall to seek a distraction. After filling his belly, he called his men to the bailey to begin drills and spent the entire morning barking orders at them.

If he could not do anything about missing Dorie, he could focus on the task of taking down the McCurdys. How many times had he planned to go to the Campbells only to have to stay behind to care for his wife because she’d fallen victim to another McCurdy attack?

He no longer needed to worry of such things. He was free to do whatever he wished.

Alone.