Page 71 of Her Reluctant Highlander Husband

But that was what she wanted more than anything. After years of being shut away in her room, forgotten, she wanted someone to see her. To want her.

“And if you’re carrying our child, you would consider keeping the bairn from me?” He glared down at the water and threw in a stone with more effort, causing a splash.

“I would do whatever you wished. Whatever was better for our child.” She realized then they weren’t necessarily the same thing. Would it make sense to raise a child with a man who couldn’t love them the way they deserved? To sentence someone else, her child, to her lot in life? It wasn’t fair.

He nodded and threw another stone, not looking at her. “I’m not one to give up on things.”

“If you think it’s a failure to give up on this marriage, you’re wrong. You didn’t fail me. You were kind. You gave me a home and made me feel things I never imagined. I’ve never been happier in my life.” She sighed. “But I know there’s more to being married. I see it with Lach and Kenna, and Cam and Mari. The way they look at each other… I want that for myself.”

Bryce swallowed and finally looked at her. He kept looking. She met his gaze and waited. Eventually he let out a breath and nodded. “Then you should not settle for someone who canna give ye what you want. I hope you find what you’re looking for in England.”

“I have your blessing to go with my father?”

“Aye. But if you are carrying my babe, I ask that you come back. That we continue on as we were. I can’t stand the thought that I’d have a child out in the world I didn’t know.”

Dorie thought of her own father unknowingly going about his life without being aware Dorie existed. “Of course. I will write to you when I know for sure.”

When he said nothing else, she took his hand and squeezed it. “Thank you for everything, Bryce.”

He cleared his throat and squeezed her hand back. “Thank you for making me laugh again.”

She took pleasure in knowing she’d made his life better in some small way. With a smile on her face, she left him to his boulder to go share the news with her father.

On the trail, Rascal caught up with her and whined. She stopped, in case he was warning her of danger, but his ears were still down as he tilted his head and looked back toward Bryce.

“Come now. We must get ready for a long trip. We’re going to England.”

Another whine as he turned in a circle toward the loch. With a sharp pain in her chest, she realized her dog belonged here. While she was at her father’s country estate, Rascal would have rabbits to hunt and a place to run. But when they went to London he would not be able to come with her.

“You should stay here with him. He needs someone in his life to look after him when I’m no longer here to do it.”

As she continued on her trek to the castle alone, a few tears fell. She was glad to have a chance for a happy future, but she also realized how much she’d been hoping Bryce would say he couldn’t live without her and wanted her to stay here with him.

She took a deep breath and moved on.

…

It took a few days for the viscount to prepare for the trip back to London. Bryce thought the delay might have been to give him enough time to change his mind, or for Dorie to change hers, but that didn’t happen.

Bryce had come to terms with the idea. The selfish part of him eased and he was able to see how this plan was best for Dorie. How she deserved to be happy, and since he couldn’t be the man to make her dreams come true, he needed to release her and let her go.

It still angered him to think of another man touching her the way he had. To envision another man causing her to squeal and gasp in delight. But he managed to push those parts of the plan aside to focus on Dorie and her needs.

The entire process would have been easier if everyone would just leave him alone, but of course that didn’t happen.

Her father found him out in the stables preparing his horse for a ride. Bryce was planning to check the borders, and when Dorien began hinting of going for a ride before his long journey in the cramped carriage, Bryce relented and invited the man to go with him.

He and Dorien left through the gates alone other than the hound that lumbered along next to them. Bryce expected the viscount to have outriders with him, especially after the last time when he’d been injured, but no one came along. Dorien Sutherland was a fancy lord and, from the number of men he’d brought with him to Scotland, all of England would fall to ruin if he weren’t to return. But Bryce was glad for the privacy as they crossed the field in silence. Though he still hadn’t figured out how to approach what he needed to say.

They rode quietly for most of the morning. Spring was coming upon the Highlands, and the singing birds had returned. The trees remained bare, but the ends of the branches held tight buds, promising an explosion of color in the next month. And Dorie would miss it.

Damn if he couldn’t stop thinking of all the things she wouldn’t be able to experience with him.

Eventually they stopped to fill their flasks at a stream.

“This is beautiful country. I almost hate to leave,” the viscount said.

Bryce nodded but said nothing.