Page 113 of Under the Influence

I hear the door on the floor above us slam closed, and footsteps echo in the stairwell. I watch as Benson descends, standing right next to her.

“Sorry, I couldn’t find my phone!” he explains. “Oh, hey Cori! How was your workout? You ready for your solo?”

Aspen stares at me, my foot in my mouth.

This is what happens when I try to lie. I’m terrible at it.

“She wasn’t practicing, Ben. She’s too busy making up lies to tell her bestie.”

He looks between us, confused. I start to stutter another excuse, “Aspen, It’s not… I was just⁠—”

“Quick!” she interrupts. “Think of a good lie to feed me.”

I don’t respond quick enough, so she continues her rant, “What is wrong with you? Why are you lying to me when I’m the only person who has been there for you through everything! I was the only person who knew Cori. Every single time Kane has broken your heart, who has put it back together? I’ll tell you! Me!”

I stand there, staring at her. She’s right. Every time Kane messed up, I tore myself apart, and she picked up the pieces.

“Oh my God,” she whispers. “Are you seeing him again?”

I step closer to her, the promise I made to her that I’d stay away from him in the forefront of my mind. She backs away, “You are, aren’t you! Oh my God, it all makes sense now. All the late-night dancing, the missed classes.”

“It’s not what you think.”

She rolls her eyes, her shoulder dramatically brushing mine as she walks past. Benson gives me an apologetic smile as he follows. I can’t stand her being mad at me, so I run after her, grabbing her arm. “Aspen, I’m sorry, just listen, let me explain!”

“Save it!” she screams. “Don’t you remember what it was like? How he would manipulate you? How you would swear that you were fine? How every single day and night would need to revolve around him? Never knowing what version of him you were going to get. The constant anxiety. Lying to your parents? Because I remember, Cori!”

“I know,” I whisper, the memory of the past year flooding in. Every mess up, every time I cried. I told her the last time was the last time. I swore I’d never go back.

The only excuse I have is how stupid I am for Kane Weston.

I find myself hanging on his every word, even when I know damn well it’s nothing but lies. We had to keep our relationship a secret for months because my dad flipped when he found out we were hanging out. Kane didn’t back off, though, because he didn’t care. Neither did I. His age wasn’t a problem for us, other than Kane was in college and I was still stuck at Brooks wondering who was in his dorm 24-7. My dad didn’t like it, though. He didn’t think his intentions were good, and he especially didn’t like that I was fifteen and he was nineteen. He’d even threatened him with the police.

The truth is that Kane Weston should’ve come wrapped in a warning label. You know something like: proceed with extreme caution, keep away from Corinne Clark, red flags could be mistaken for butterflies and may cause severe or worsening depression.

Aspen was right, though. I’d been a mess more times than either of us could count. Still, after everything, I’d go to hell and back with him as long as he was holding my hand. It was worse than an addiction, and I couldn’t quit. I didn’t even want to try. I kept following him deeper and deeper into the grave he was digging for himself. Knowing he was taking me with him, I just didn’t care.

So I lie.

“It’s not Kane,” I blurt. “I… I met someone.”

I swear I see an actual twinkle in her eye, solely because it isn’t Kane. “What! Why didn’t you tell me!?”

“It’s just… it’s new, and I didn’t want you to get any ideas. I know how you are.”

She laughs, grabbing me, “It’s not like I’d give him the ‘can you date my best friend quiz’ the first time I meet him.”

I sigh, “I know. I’m sorry I lied to you. I just wasn’t ready to share him yet.”

PRESENT

Twenty-four hours later, she was gone. That lie turned into another, which turned into one huge misunderstanding.

That lie cost me my best friend.

The following day, I woke up and Aspen had already left our dorm. My phone had thousands of notifications, and several texts from Zander, Aspen’s boyfriend.

I clicked the video posted by Zander’s account and felt sick. The video was in the bonus room at Zander’s house, caught by a camera I didn’t even know was there. I was absolutely mortified that I was filmed, and I can still remember how my heart sank when I noticed that Kane was wearing Zander’s jacket. From the back, they looked nearly identical. They were brothers, after all. The lighting in the video was horrible, and if I hadn’t known better, I would’ve thought it was Zander too.