Page 113 of The Long Road Back to Yesterday

“Then my letter must tell me enough to find you again.”

“But, sir, a letter cannot make you love me.”

“No, nor would I want it to. If I return to April with no memory of you, I shall have no right to expect you to love a stranger. I can only tell myself that Elizabeth Bennet exists, that I once loved you, and that I need to find you and discover for myself why.”

Elizabeth looked down at their joined hands.

“And what if I remember?”

His fingers tightened around hers.

“I have thought so much about the possibility that I might forget you, but I am beginning to think remembering may be worse. I may return knowing what it was to be your wife. I will remember being loved by you and loving you in return. I will remember our marriage, our home, and waking beside you. Then, in a single moment, it will all be gone.”

“Elizabeth.”

“What if something prevents us from finding our way back to one another? We do not know what else may change. There may be circumstances we cannot foresee or something beyond our control. You may meet me again and feel nothing for me.”

He lifted her hand and held it against his chest.

“I cannot promise what either of us will remember.”

“I know.” Her voice trembled. “That is what frightens me. I do not know if I can endure remembering that I was your wife and finding myself a stranger to you. I fear the break between one life and the next will be more than I can bear.”

He drew her into his arms.

“Then I will give myself every possible means of finding you. I will tell myself where you are, what I know of you, and what you meant to me. I cannot command the man I was to love you, Elizabeth, but I can make certain he knows that once, when I was given the choice, I chose you.”

She pressed her face against his chest.

“And if he does not choose me again?”

Fitzwilliam was silent for a moment.

“Then I will have been a very great fool twice.”

She nestled deeper into his arms, and he held her close. For a time, neither of them spoke.

At last, he kissed the top of her head.

“If I must find you twice, Elizabeth, I shall.”

Her eyes filled with tears.

“Elizabeth?”

She wiped at her cheeks. “I am so happy, sir. You have made me very happy.”

“Then perhaps you might put me out of my uncertainty.”

She looked up at him.

“Fitzwilliam, I will marry you.”

He drew her closer, and she raised her mouth to his.

When he released her, Elizabeth remained pressed against him, her arms still around his neck.

“If you would allow it, I would marry you tomorrow, Elizabeth.” He drew back enough to look at her. “But I know you will want the Gardiners and Jane with you.”