Page 16 of Fate

“A cook, and a witty one at that. I enjoy those qualities.” For the third time today, my face reddens as I see the gleam in her eyes. Noting my blushing, Helia's eyes crinkle slightly. “You and I don’t have much opportunity to talk and get to know each other. How would you feel if we started training together? We can train for a bit and have some time to talk after without worry about the others.” My smile reflects in hers at the idea.

“I would love that. Though”—my brows knit together—“what would you train me on? Andra is focused on conditioning and Bellius has strategy and the spear.”

Helia nods, shooting a quick glance around. “You’d keep training with the other two, but our training would focus on practical application of your power. You’ll need to be able to use it in a fight.”

Ah. The prospect of spending time with Helia dims slightly at the reality of our situation.

“You said I was a Conduit and that Lunos would explain more in my dreams. It’s been several days and she’s yet to show up.”

“She will; trust me.” The corner of Helia’s mouth quirks, unknown emotion behind her eyes. “You’re the single most important thing to her.” Right. What was it Helia had said? A mountain on the scales of war? Whatever the hells that means.

“What are you going to do after everything?” Helia blinks at my question. “You said we needed to reach Askepollo. What will you do after that?” Dark clouds weigh across her brow as she processes what I asked.

“I’m not sure. Like I told you before, you’re the purpose of my existence. However, I have no idea what awaits in Askepollo.” Helia’s words are heavy, fettered to the yoke of her purpose. Perhaps this is some of what she meant in Nolphi.

“I’m sorry Helia.”

She shakes her head, loose locks swaying. “Don’t be. Sorry implies it’s your fault. You had no say in it.” We sit in comfortable silence for a while, watching the activities of the camp begin to die down for the evening. The watch is set, bedrolls laid out, and dice games wrap up, as I look up at the night.

The stars shine brightly tonight, a sea of lights across Nia’s darkened sky. Lunos blooms up there as well, a counter point, an inexorable presence. According to legend, Nia and Lunos are eternal friends, always protecting the other. I can feel Helia’s green gaze upon me, a pool of wonder. I wait, hiding a smile lest I bring the moment to an early end.

“What about you Skion? What do you want when everything is over?” Not the question I expected, but I leave my walls down for the moment. What do I want? I think I know some of that now, but it’s difficult to put it in words. Perhaps, one day soon, I’ll be able to tell her. Be able to explain who I want to be.

“Like you said, we don’t know what’s to come. But, I’d like to open a taverna someday; The Quiet Lake.” A dream of a young heart, held dear. And something more; a name of import to my future self.

“The Quiet Lake. A good name, a welcoming one. I would like to see it come true.” I turn to her, seeing no laughter, no malice, nor judgment. Only the support of a friend. Gods, but she’s beautiful. Her piercing eyes, the honey in her voice, the firm strength of a mountain. The way she lounges next to me with one arm resting on a knee pulled to her chest. More than that, it’s her kindness. Mandate from Lunos or not, she could have left all the Athosians behind to die or refused the Archon’s deal to house the refugees.

Her free hand lays braced on the ground between us, a mere hands-length away from me. Were we always sitting this close to each other? Thunder erupts in my chest as I look around quickly. No one is nearby and the fire only casts enough light for me to see her.

Heart in my throat and flames on my cheeks, I lace my fingers in Helia’s. Her hands are wondrous. Callouses, yes. Scars, here and there. The kind of hands I would trust to catch me as softly as a mound of sheep’s wool. Hands that could reveal the world in me or keep the outer one at bay.

With a hum of satisfaction, Helia curls her fingers, entwining with mine. Such a small thing. Such a momentous thing. I look up from our locked hands and my heart stops entirely. Helia is smiling wider than I have ever seen, and her eyes well up, misty and wet.

“Are you okay?”

Helia nods quickly, futilely holding back a tear. “Yeah, I’m good. I just, ah, never really held hands with anyone before. Sorry; it’s stupid I’m getting all emotional over this.” She rubs her eye with the back of her other hand, eagerly removing any evidence of emotion. Empathy courses through me; she tried to fill the loneliness with war, people, and drink. She never had genuine connection before. How many people has Helia been able to talk to about who she is; about what she is?

Fuck it. Abandoning all restraint, I lean over and kiss her. Helia’s lips are surprisingly soft compared to the rest of her, clouds at the forefront of a rainstorm. My eyes close, the thunder in my chest returning with a roar. All I can feel is the caress of Helia's lips lovingly across mine. The slight taste of salt from her wet tears. The tease of her tongue at the edge of my lip.

I push closer to her, needing Helia to understand the fire she’s ignited in my soul. The lock of our hands tightens, holding onto the moment for dear life. Her free hand slips up my neck, threading my growing hair. The callouses on her palm run along my skin as she keeps me firmly in place, as though I might bolt like a frightened deer before a hunter.

Still deep in Helia’s embrace, I place my free hand on her forearm, more to brace myself than anything else. Helia continues to sweetly devour me, taking her time, learning my lips just as I learn hers. My chest is breaking under the speed of my heartbeat. Pantheons, she is stealing my breath, and I love every second of it.

Tragically, achingly, Helia finally pulls away, the world snapping back to reality. Our breathing is ragged, faces flushing with delight. Helia smiles, tears gone, the only proof of their existence the salt on my lips and the glow in her eyes. Joy blooms in my stomach at the sight, until her smile dims slightly.

“Skion, normally this kind of relationship isn’t allowed between officers and subordinates. It leaves things open to favoritism and, it can cause deadly distractions. If you truly want a relationship, it means that when we are on duty, we are commander and soldier; even if we know there is more. Do you understand?”

I nod, her words sobering and yet leaving my light undimmed.

“Understood, commander.” My smirk brings Helia’s smile back to full force, her contented laughter a balm for the islands of loneliness inside us both.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

I MARCH IN formation alongside Olena the next day, still hazy from the feeling of that kiss. My heart pounds like a drum thinking back on it. A simple kiss; an electrifying kiss. We hadn’t done much more, which is fine for now. We need to talk things through before we go further.

“You being careful?” Olena pitches her voice low to avoid others hearing us as we make our way along the road to Ionos.

I glance toward the head of the column where Helia is before answering. “Trying to be.”