Page 111 of Forbidden to Fall

I didn’t say anything back. I was working too hard to keep my hope smothered.

James stayed quiet too, holding my gaze.

“Then am I crazy?” I said. “Have I just been imagining these…moments between you?” My brain reviewed them quickly—at the stables, at the parade. “No. It’s not just how you look at her. It’s how she looks at you. But I know she loves my brother, so...”

James closed his eyes as he scrubbed a hand over his stubble.

It was a reaction I didn’t understand.

“Sadie…if I tell you this, you’ve got to promise you’ll keep it between us.”

Eyes wide and alert, I nodded, every nerve in my body on end like a dog’s hackles.

“I’m serious,” he said. “You cannot tell anyone what I’m about to tell you.”

“I swear.” The words came out like a solemn whisper.

He looked away. “I haven’t told anyone this. I promised myself I never would.”

“James, you’re scaring me.”

He met my gaze again.

I’d never seen him so serious.

“I’m dying here,” I said. “Please just put me out of my misery.”

He took in a long breath, and my entire body seemed to tip toward him as I waited.

“I didn’t kiss Lily,” he said. “She kissed me.”

“What?” I couldn’t have heard him right.

There was a short pause. “She kissed me.”

I stared at him. “I don’t understand.”

He just looked at me, his brow furrowed.

“What…what happened?” My brain felt like it was on the brink of shorting out. “Actually, can we go outside? I need some air.”

He opened the door for me, and I sucked in the cold, fall air. Autumn was in full swing, though it was too dark to see the explosion of colors all around us.

I sat down on the small bench outside the door, then looked up at him. “Can you start at the beginning?”

He took a seat next to me, leaning forward so his elbows rested on his knees. It was a few seconds before he started talking. “I had a crush on Lily for a long time—since middle school, really.”

“Yeah, I know.”

He glanced over at me and grimaced.

“So did Ryan, as you probably know. He was always better than I was at the whole flirting and confidence and dating stuff. Anyway, you remember when they started dating, and you know how it went.”

I nodded. Lily was the only person I could remember Ryan being with, but they’d been so off and on, breaking up only to get back together not long after.

“The last time they broke up, they had a really big fight.”

I smiled wryly.