Page 21 of Master of Himself

“Yes, by all means, Charles,” Caroline said in a sarcastic tone. “Go off and play your games. Louisa and I shall fend for ourselves.”

“Now who’s being tiresome?” Darcy said under his breath as they left the parlour.

Once in seclusion, they swapped letters. “It’s from Georgiana,” Darcy said, tucking it into his pocket. “I’ll write to her and have you seal it.”

Charles agreed, then scanned his own letter. “My man of business wants me to come to town to settle a few pressing matters.”

“Can you fob him off?”

“I’ve already done so once, but I don’t have much choice now,” he said, his frustration rising. “There is no possibility of you settling my affairs on my behalf.”

“No indeed. It must be delayed until we have resumed our real identities.”

This was yet another problem added to Charles’s already heavy burden. “I’ll send my reply, but I can’t put him off indefinitely.”

“No, we’ll figure it out.”

That’s exactly what Darcy had said yesterday, but as of yet, the solution still eluded them.

***

As Darcy sat beside Elizabeth at supper, their conversation in the stables continued to plague him. He had thought of little else since then, and the enormity of his blunder was never more apparent. He was desperate to apologise for insulting her, but such a private discussion was not meant for the supper table, nor would Charles Bingley have any cause to make such a confession to her.

She wore a blue gown that suited her to perfection, and her hair had been arranged into soft curls around her face, enhancing her expressive eyes. She was everything lovely, and nothing like the ladies in the first circles of society who gazed at him with longing and agreed with his every utterance. Elizabeth never regarded him as though he were some prize to be won. He doubted that she was fully aware of how desirable she was, or how much he craved her good opinion.

He could only wonder how a woman who had made no overtures to him had enthralled him so completely, but perhaps that was precisely the reason he admired her. She expected nothing from him other than friendship.

That was, of course, her friendship with Charles. Darcy could have no illusion that she had similar expectations from him.

He now wanted nothing more than to make amends and explore his budding affections for her. However, no woman would consider forming a lasting connection with a man who had publicly proclaimed that she was unworthy of his attention. A sincere apology for that insult was long overdue and must be issued without delay. He resolved to beg Charles to act on his behalf after the ladies withdrew to the parlour.

Now in a quandary, he struggled to find a topic of conversation suitable for the supper hour.

Fortunately, she saved him the trouble. “Jane is sleeping,” she said in a hushed tone.

He was relieved that the worried lines in her brow had disappeared. “Good news.”

“She is much more comfortable now and has even managed some porridge.”

“I hope she will continue to improve,” he said, knowing that her sister’s well-being was Elizabeth’s foremost concern, and finding her sisterly devotion one of her most admirable qualities.

She released a soft sigh. “I must thank you again for your excellent care,” she said, her eyes glowing with appreciation.

Darcy sincerely wished that he were worthy of her praise. “I’m afraid I must give all the credit to Mrs Nicholls and the cook. I certainly have no expertise in their specialties.”

“Nor I,” she said with a guilty smile. “It makes me quite ashamed for not paying better attention at home. I hope to have my own family someday, but I ought not rely on others to keep them healthy.”

He found himself in complete agreement with her sentiments. “We do rely on the people around us, and probably take them too much for granted,” he said, thinking not only of his household staff, but of the others who maintained his properties and business affairs. Mrs Reynolds and Mrs Annesley had taken excellent care of Georgiana; he had no notion about the care and nurturing or education of young girls.

“Exactly so.”

He sincerely believed that any man would consider himself fortunate to claim this thoughtful woman as his wife and the mother of his children.

Her serene expression vanished as she shifted her focus to Charles. “Nor should we take our friends for granted, but we ought to rely on our better instincts in choosing them. Sometimes, their off-hand remarks reveal their true character.”

Thunderstruck, Darcy knew not how to answer. Although he couldn’t disagree that he had spoken out of turn, she believed that Charles had erred in befriending Darcy. He was now absolutely ashamed of his conduct on that night and wished he had never uttered those despicable comments.

But he despaired at the return of the furrow in her brow and the expression on her face, not quite of disdain, but something very close to it.