Page 121 of On the Breakaway

“They’re good at it, too. It’s become quite creative over the years. They can manipulate even the most minor things into a weapon. I mean, my dad is still calling me daily, all because my mom mindfucked him about her last trip here.”

“They put you in the middle?” He asks.

“I’m the toy they play tug of war over.”

“If my mom were angry, she’d stop speaking to my dad for weeks. And if my dad was angry, he’d disappear into work.”

I stare at the countertop, trying not to let the memories pull me under.

“They withheld affection when they were upset and used attention like currency.”

Grayson leans back in his chair. “It doesn’t have to be that way.”

“That’s what I thought too. I dated around a lot, thinking maybe if I found the right person, it would be different than what I’d been raised with. And then I met Damon.”

I slide my chair out and stand up, my body too tense to stay sitting.

“He was everything I wanted.”

After a breakup, people are always pointing to obvious red flags that everyone somehow missed. But when I think about the beginning, all I remember is feeling happy.

I bragged about him to Wesley and Harper. I smiled when he texted me. That’s what makes it so humiliating.

Grayson’s jaw tightens.

I notice.

“Seriously, he wasn’t awful at first. He made me feel chosen. It felt unconditional.”

My laugh comes out bitter. “Which is embarrassing to admit now.”

I still don’t quite understand how it went from being something so perfect to something that almost destroyed me.

“There’s nothing embarrassing about wanting to be chosen, Avery.” Grayson mimics my movements, standing up from the table and collecting the dishes.

“We never once went on a date. He told me it was hard to go out in public. He was always recognized and said he wanted to protect me. It made sense in my head. But looking back, it was just a way to isolate me. He was out in public all the time with his friends and teammates.”

Damon ensured that the only part of his world I was exposed to was the perfectly curated life he wanted me to see. It was all one beautiful, vindictive lie.

“The control started with small things. Sharing my location for emergencies. Not talking to the friends who partied too much. Using his debit card for everything because he wanted to take care of me.”

Dawning flashes across Grayson’s face, and I know he’s thinking back to our grocery store encounter.

I nod slowly, a new type of understanding passing between us.

“But then those so-called helpful changes came with strings. He started showing up where I was, even if it was supposed to be girls’ night, or calling me if I wasn’t where he thought I should be. I shopped at the wrong store. Spent too much on groceries. Didn’t say thank you enough for his kindness.”

The memories make my stomach twist.

“He had this way of smiling while he criticized me, so half the time, I convinced myself I was being ridiculous, thinking I didn’t understand how adult relationships worked.”

I drop my bowl into the sink.

“Then he started getting mean whenever I did something he thought was inappropriate, like wearing something revealing or going out with friends without him. He’d call me names or ignore me completely.”

Grayson goes completely still, standing in the doorway.

I don’t think he even realizes he’s doing it.