Page 136 of Lethal Attraction

Is it her?

How badly is she hurt?

What happened?

Why did they bring her to a trauma hospital that’s three hours away?

None of this makes any sense!

I’m spiraling as I burst through the doors onto the sixth floor. In my frenzy, it’s hard to focus on anything else other than her, but I keep pushing. As I round the nurses’ station, staff call after me, but it’s all lost on me as I throw open each door in search of Thalia.

Long raven hair.

Stunning pale blue eyes.

A smile that makes the whole room light up.

Anything but what I’m thinking.

Another door only to reveal an elderly man hooked up to machines as his chest rises and falls rhythmically. I stagger back out of the room, curling my hand into my hair before a door across from me catches my eye.

“Dr. Bellamy?” A nurse asks with obvious confusion. “Are you okay?”

I push past her, not answering as I swallow. Beyond the glass of the door, Connor stands, his arms folded over his chest as he talks to someone. He hasn’t noticed me yet, but that doesn’t stop my pulse from bottoming out.

Every beat is painful. Every step could make me fall to my knees.

I push the door open, expecting to see something that could make or break me, only to blink in confusion at the scene.

Alana sits next to the bed, her legs crossed as she smiles. “Hey, Reed.”

“H-hi?” I mutter in more in a question than a statement.

In the hospital bed isn’t the woman I love, but Brooks. His right arm and shoulder are gone, with thick bandages covering his missing parts. There are severe burns across his chest and face, and it’s surprising that he’s even still alive. Especially with the damage.

“What?” I shake my head. “What’s going on?”

Connor pushes off the wall. “I’ll give you two a moment to chat.” He closes the door behind him, leaving Alana and I.

The intel expert gives me a soft look, her bottom lip quivering as she tangles her fingers together in front of her. “Thalia has always been my best friend. Which is how I know she’s completely and utterly selfless. She tends to give to others without thinking of herself.” She gives a watery laugh before her eyes become distant. “She doesn’t think she deserves happiness, Reed.” Alana swallows hard, blinking rapidly as if she can keep the tears from falling. “She never has.”

The words hang between us as I stare at her, my chest tightening. “What do you mean?”

Alana looks down at her hands. “You know how she is. Everyone sees the strong version of Thalia—the woman who walks into a room and takes charge, the one who always knows what to do, the one who would throw herself in front of a bullet for someone she loves.” Her voice cracks. “But nobody sees what happens afterward.”

A lump forms in my throat. “Alana—”

“No,” she says firmly. “You’re listening to me, okay?”

“Okay.”

“She carries everything,” Alana continues softly. “Every loss and mistake. Every person she couldn’t save.” Her eyes lift to mine. “And every time something good comes into her life, she finds a reason she doesn’t deserve it.”

The room suddenly feels too small. Every emotion I’ve experienced over the last few days seems to melt together inside of me.

“She did what she thought she had to do to save you,” Alana’s tears finally escape, trailing down her cheeks. “She thinks loving someone means protecting them. Even from herself.”

My heart gives a painful thud as I look down at the ink in my skin. Every memory floods back to me in full force, taking my breath away.