Page 43 of Love Sanctioned

“Better not because I ain’t never been to a mayor’s funeral. You think they’re open to the public?” Killah asked as he stood to his feet.

“Probably not. You know they be tryna protect their after-death images. Niggas don’t want a baby mama or side chick coming in there airing his ass out. Can’t defend himself if he’s dead,” Kal responded, moving toward the door.

“Yo, you’re right.” Killah straightened his jeans, walking behind Kal.

After we left Winston’s office, I had them drop me back off at the restaurant but I didn’t go in. Instead, I hopped my ass in my truck and went home. I’d been on some MIA shit when I had a whole ass son waiting on me. My personal messes were no excuse. My son needed me present, especially when it seemed like his mother wasn’t coming back.

When I walked into the house, I spotted Junior seated on the couch, TV on, watching him while he focused on his phone.

“What’s up, Pops?” he greeted.

“Nothing, you good?” I asked, rounding the sectional to take a seat.

“Yeah. Are you okay?”

I nodded. “Tryna be.”

“You love her, don’t you?” he asked out of nowhere.

“Love who?” I asked, looking him over.

“My stepmom.” Lil nigga wasn’t budging with what he called her.

“Yeah, but that doesn't matter. Things are all fucked up,” I responded honestly.

“Then fix it. You taught me that a man admits his wrongs and always finds a way to make up where he may fall short. Handle your shit, Pops, ’cause also, your cooking ain’t it.”

“Language, lil nigga, and I hear you.”

We talked for a little longer, his words echoing in my head. The fact that my teenager was out here giving me advice was simply fucking maddening but he made more sense than anything.

ELEVEN

Karsyn

“Well, Ms. Curr, it seems that you are indeed with child. And judging from the measurements, you’re about nine weeks along.” Doctor Connor’s attention was on the black and white screen while I stared intently at her.

At no point in my life did I ever think I’d be here like this alone. I wasn’t one of those girls who planned their family or even their wedding day. As a matter of fact, after witnessing the mess between my parents firsthand, I didn’t believe in marriage, let alone happily ever after or even finding and belonging to one person. I was anti-love and anything that remotely resembled it. Then one day I was somewhere I shouldn’t have been and a man I shouldn’t have crossed paths with stepped in. My story with Posydiann was what it was but I couldn’t harp on it. I had to feel it and move on, with what I guessed would be a little piece of him.

As the doctor babbled on and on about things I had never considered or thought of, I felt out of place. This was all so messed up because the only thing I could think about was Posydiann. Why did I feel guilty for doing what was best for me when he did the same?

When he called me yesterday, I was completely thrown and enraged because he had done to me what every man and my family was guilty of. He made a decision for me, not giving me the chance to say yes or no. What also made me mad was the fact that he’d called in the first place and I answered. What was him calling going to do? I probably should have told him I was carrying his baby, but again, what would that have done? Posydiann and I were nothing but a toxic cycle, tumbling through to the end because we were actually done. It hurt to believe that, but I knew it, and the last thing I’d ever do was put a baby on him to keep him. What would it solve besides putting my child in the middle of a situation so similar to mine that it awoke trauma I didn’t know I kept within. I was sure Posydiann loved me and I sure as fuck loved him too but he said that wasn’t enough.

“We’ve got everything we need and everything looks normal in there. We’re gonna get you some prenatal vitamins prescribed at the front and get your next appointment scheduled,” Doc said as she moved around the room, then turned the lights back on.

I nodded. My words were kind of lost, just like my mind right now. Once I was decent and had the excess gel off my abdomen, the doctor left the room and told me to meet her up front.

I felt so alone. Like being alone hadn’t bothered me before, but now it felt deafening. My thoughts weren’t the safest place these days, especially when the plan I had put together in my head ultimately meant I’d possibly be marrying someone who would raise and love my child like it was their own depending on how my meeting went in a little bit. My stipulation to tell my father yes was that I had to meet this guy by myself. Because in all honesty, I needed to gauge him.

After I set up my next OB appointment and gave them the address to the closest pharmacy to my home, I left Founders and headed to pop up on my twin to let him know I was not only alive, but pregnant. I didn’t really keep things from him besides the whole I might be getting married to save your ass thing. That, I’d probably try to take to my grave, because I knew Junnie wouldn’t tell him or anyone for that matter.

KB’s was right up the block from where I was meeting my possible fiancé, so it gave me time to either leave Kolton shocked or receive a long ass lecture. Either one I was prepared for, because at this point life had dealt me a hand of cards most would’ve folded on.

I parked my car and glanced down at the little black and white sonogram image. Regardless of everything, I loved my baby already. So I was willing to do whatever to ensure his or her safety and wellbeing.

I walked into KB’s a few seconds later. I stood at the front, eyeing the semi-busy space before my eyes landed on my brother seated in his normal crescent-shaped booth with a laptop and stack of papers in front of him. Kolton worked too freaking much, but when you had a narcissistic asshole as a father, you had to.

I was greeted by Duke, his security guard, as I approached the table. It was then that my brother looked up. He was shocked to see me. My guess is he thought I was probably crying in my condo.