Page 10 of Love Sanctioned

Killah laughed. “Nah he just doesn't want you to dent his shit up like you did last time.”

I waved him off, watching Psy get out of my truck and open the back door to get my bag. “Maybe that too. You can leave that in there. I’m leaving after we talk.” My lying ass.

Killah laughed lazily. “Yeah, aight. Don’t put on for me, Sis. I know y’all are endgame.”

I laughed. “Says who?”

“Says me. Bag light as fuck like you don’t know you’re spending the weekend with me.” Posydiann rounded the truck, standing to the side of me.

“’Cause I’m not.”

“Yeah, y’all on some shit. I wanna be just like y’all when I grow up. Lemme go see if my baby fuckin’ with me tonight or not.”

“Aight, hit me up when you make it in.” Posydiann grabbed my hand, pulling me toward the gate next to his.

“Bet. Take it easy on him, Kars,” he said before he pulled off.

After he pulled off, we entered the gate and headed into his grandmother’s house. Just like the last time I’d seen her, she was seated at the kitchen table, scratching lottery tickets. The only difference today was her hair was in two braids to the back and her glasses were sitting on the tip of her nose.

“That’s my pretty girl, isn’t it?” She smiled as soon as Psy had me in the door.

“Yeah, this is her stank ass.”

I turned around and hit him in the shoulder to which he laughed.

“Language, boy. Damn, your mouth needs to be washed out with soap.”

“My bad, Grams. Where is Mama?”

“Up there asleep. She said her head hurt. I went up there about an hour ago. How have you been, Karsyn, baby?” I hugged her then stepped to the side of her as Posydiann moved through the house.

“I’ll be right back,” he called over his shoulder.

“I’ve been good, ma’am. Working a lot and trying to stay focused. How about you?”

“Oh nothing, trying to stay busy and alive. You know at my age the most important part about life is staying alive long enough.”

I smiled.

“You will.”

“I hope so, baby. I hear you trying to leave my hardheaded baby alone.”

I giggled, about to explain myself, but she held her hands up to stop me.

“I don’t know what’s going on between you and I don’t want to. But I like you for him and I understand being young and fine. You gotta do what’s best for you. So, when I say his heart is pure, he just carries a few dents from life. Am I telling you my baby is the best for you? Of course I am, I’m his grandmother. But you have to make him be that and not allow him to just be.”

Her words resonated. I had to make him be without just letting him be.

“He’s got a hard exterior, but a heart of gold. I think you know that, which is why you still put up with his shit.”

I nodded. Maybe she was right and that was exactly it.

We spent about an hour over at his grandmother’s house before going to his place. While Junior talked my ears off about a car, Psy disappeared, going up to his bedroom. I could tell Psy had no interest in Junior’s talk of a car because his grown ass pouted before carrying my bag to his bedroom. It was like he wanted me to follow him, but I wasn’t about to, not yet. I was serious about talking. Posydiann liked to say I had him, but how? He didn’t talk because he wasn’t too much of a talker. I kept thinking he’d open up, but he never did. Yes, we spent time, and I loved being around him, but I was always left wondering what the hell I liked being around. Even after all this time I felt like I was the one who did all the talking. We had gone through the stage of him telling me to stay out of Watertown and how it wasn’t safe for me. I got that, but look at where I was right now? Here… with him and lord I hated how it felt like I belonged even though I had no clue of what I belonged to.

“Yo, you hungry?” His voice filled my eardrum as his hand found the small of my back.

“A little bit, but I’m alright.” It was then I noticed Junior heading toward the stairs.