Page 155 of A Vicious Love

I set the phone down and stood because my body had too much energy in it. I crossed to the window, lit a cigarette, and looked down over Harlan.

The city was behaving today because I had made several people bleed yesterday and apparently that had restored civic discipline.

Good for the city.

Bad for my mood.

Behind me, the phone buzzed again. I turned so fast ash fell onto the floor.

Sienna.

Okay.

One word gave me too much relief. It meant somewhere inside the ruin I had made, there was still a door that might open if I learned how not to break the handle off trying to get in.

I picked up the phone and read it until the letters stopped looking like letters.

Then I did something pathetic.

I saved a screenshot. Immediately deleted it because I was not completely insane. Then restored it from recently deleted because apparently I was.

Her okay meant hope. So yes, I was that desperate for it.

I started to think what did I do write next. Every message sounded wrong.

Are you okay?

Fucking stupid. She was not okay. I knew she was not okay. I had helped make her that way.

My thumb hovered over the keyboard.

I typed:

I owe you⁠—

Deleted.

I typed:

I have been trying⁠—

Deleted.

I typed:

I am sorry for⁠—

The phone buzzed in my hand.

Marcel sent a message requesting a meeting now.

No indication of whether someone had died, betrayed us, or simply irritated him enough that he wanted witnesses.

I locked my phone, stood, and left Sienna’s unfinished apology sitting in my pocket.

Marcel was in a mood when I arrived at his office.

He stood at the windows, hands clasped behind his back, looking down over Harlan.