Page 134 of We Drank the Dawn

Tag’s voice turned serious, infused with a palpable awe. “Yes, and it’s the most incredible thing I’ve ever witnessed.”

A scoffing laugh came from Bea as she gave Tag a light smack. “Oh, stop that. You’re making me blush. I want to focus on you and Wren and the rodeo. That’s it.”

“You already do that perfectly. We can figure out how to add in music and still be present for the rest of it. We’ve solved harder problems.”

“Sorry, Peter,” Bea apologized, her voice a little sheepish. “This has, clearly, been an ongoing conversation.”

We refocused on the task at hand—figuring out what Tag could afford truck-wise, but my brain snagged on the back and forth between them. It brought me an immense amount of relief to hear my brother-in-law fighting for Bea’s best. That her future success wasn’t being overlooked in favor of his own.

Throughout the rest of our conversation, I sensed movement near my feet. Like they were playing footsie or something. The knowledge had me fighting a smile and so happy for my little sister. I didn’t have to see the way he looked at her to know he’d do anything she asked of him.

Finally, after thoroughly examining their finances, I gave Tag the green light. Replacing his old rig before the end of the year would give him a huge tax break, and he’d purchase his third rig in January to help his taxes the following year.

Bea laughed. “Peter, you made his entire week. He loves truck shopping.”

A sound, like hands being greedily rubbed together, filled the cabin. “This is gonna be fun.”

We made small talk for a little longer, but I soon listed reasons to excuse myself. Stepping off their front porch, I launched into the cool evening, needing a few minutes to think. Meandering through the quiet barnyard, I went into the barn’s corridor and plopped down on my thinking barrel.

Tag had said they’d “solved harder problems,” and the phrase made me consider all the mountains Sarah and I had scaled. All the storms and trials. All the darkness and pain.

And all the light.

Despite the bad, Sarah and I had found a lot of joy together.

But the months following my accident were our hardest yet. This time, there was no medication to help. No chemotherapy. No doctors with an answer. We could hunker down again, but we wouldn’t ride this one out. There wouldn’t be better news tomorrow.

Maybe the only way to solve it was to stop trying to solve it. For all the striving and fighting we’d done over the last couple years, there were really only two options, weren’t there?

Work together and make the best of it.

Or separate and make the best of it.

Stay or go, we would scramble to pick up the pieces and start a new life. As ex-spouses with armfuls of baggage or as husband and wife with dashed hopes and dreams. As one heart in two pieces or one heart still beating.

If you stripped away all my insecurities, the truth stood as stark and vulnerable as the bare skin on my body. I didn’t want to face another trial without her hand in mine. I didn’t want to sleep another night without holding her. I didn’t want to end another day without the relief of coming home to her. I didn’t want to solve a single problem, climb a single mountain, or take a single breath without Sarah.

I just needed to convince her to give me another chance.

Then my phone came out.

First, I texted my old boss.

Me

Hey Chip, can you call me sometime tomorrow when you get a minute?

His response came immediately.

Chip

Absolutely! Can’t wait, brother!

Then I called Sarah.

FORTY-FIVE

Peter