Page 110 of Falling for the Enemy

When she tasted her first bite, she moaned at the heavenly flavors melting in her mouth. The taste, the texture, the scent… It was all decadent.

“Tell me about the day you got your first book deal.”

She grinned and lifted the linen napkin off her lap to wipe her mouth. “Mm, this is really good.” Everything was so delicious it was difficult to stop eating.

She sipped her wine, then continued with her story.

“I got an email from an editor at the publishing house, asking if I wanted to schedule a call. I said yes, thinking they were going to connect me with someone who could collect my tax information or whatever they used to send out payments. Since they contacted me, I assumed they liked my story, because I’d heard that no response meant not interested. So I took the meeting.”

“Always take the meeting.”

She smiled, because that was excellent business advice.

Slicing a scallop in half, she swirled it in the warm, buttery sauce. “I was totally unprepared for what came next. I mean, I was a kid. I didn’t have a clue how these things worked.”

She popped the scallop into her mouth and laughed as she chewed. “They wanted to offer me seven figures for that story and several more in the series.”

“Wow.”

“I know.” Chasing the bite down with another swallow of wine, she smiled proudly. “When they told me the number, I screamed so loud my mother thought I was hurt.”

He chuckled. “What did she say when you told her?”

Her smile faltered, but some indignant part of her wouldn’t allow that, so she stiffened her shoulders and straightened her spine. “At first, she was confused. Then betrayed.”

“Betrayed?”

“Yeah. The fact that I wanted to stay back and write erotic love stories rather than go chasing megachurches across the country with her blew her brainwashed mind. It turned into a fight that... Well, nothing was ever the same after that day.”

“What did your dad say?”

“He took her side, as always.” She set down her fork, and Soren refilled her glass, reading her needs before she could voice them. “I moved in with Wren for a while, just to get some breathing room. My parents eventually listed the house and then…they left.”

“That must have been hard.”

She shrugged. “My mom always had this hole inside of her. It wasn’t anything motherhood could fill. She resented my strong-willed personality since I was little, and the more she tried to fit me in a box, the more I rebelled and tried to break free.”

She rarely thought about those days, and it was strange to feel the lingering ache that still remained when she considered how difficult and scary those times had been, more than a decade later.

“I didn’t hear from them for months. Then my book was published, and my mom finally called.” Her gaze lowered to the table. “It’s funny how some days can encompass both the happiest and saddest moments of your life. I was so proud. And when she told me she picked up a copy of my book, I foolishly thought she was coming around and accepting me for who I was. But for all of my pride, all she expressed was shame.”

“I’m sorry, Joce.”

She shrugged. “It was a long time ago.”

“Still, I know what that’s like, wanting a parent’s approval and never getting it.”

And she never would.

Her mother belonged to a faith that demanded women shrink. Modesty over confidence. Submission over voice. A woman’s body existed to serve. Any desire of her own marked her as broken and dangerous.

Jocelyn had written an explicit romance about a woman who wanted without apology, who chose passion over obedience, who treated her own hunger as something holy. Every page declared the opposite of everything her mother believed. And she refused to be ashamed of her work, knowing the book existed as proof that there were enough women out there, just like her, to ensure its success.

That was all the validation she needed to stand up to her mother, and stand up to her she did. But there was no grey area in the end. No agreement to disagree or negotiating into some middle ground. It was either repent or be shunned.

She always thought parents were supposed to love their children unconditionally. That was what Christ preached in the bible, right? But her mom had some very explicit conditions, rules that would have broken Jocelyn’s soul had she given in.

Her laugh was cold and hollow. “She was mortified. She told me I would burn in hell if I didn’t unpublish it immediately. I mean, I couldn’t even if I wanted to.”