Page 72 of Hero of Havoc

I want to make my father pay for what he did to me.

I want to whoop Teddy’s butt at fencing.

I want to fly on a dragon.

I want to find my place in the world without my parents’ control.

I want to love so hard it hurts.

I want to see more than what my sheltered life has confined me to.

I want to forgive but not forget.

One by one, they shove and push each other, devouring the words before gentle, concerned eyes turn my way.

Teddy clears his throat first. “You want to whoop my butt, huh?” he muses, and I roll my eyes.

“I’m not embarrassed to admit it’s harder than I would like it to be,” I mumble, and he grins, reaching for my arm and squeezing gently.

“Princess, I will give in to you right now,” he promises, and I shake my head.

“That’s not what I want. What I want is to do it with skill, not because you’re soft for me,” I insist, and his smile grows.

“That’s why I like you. A lot,” he declares, releasing my arm as Archer’s gaze catches mine.

“You’ve already ticked two things off the list. The third involves Teddy, but isn’t something that will be used against you. All of these, except one, are open to interpretation, and I’m more than happy to go through them with you one at a time, but first, I need you to agree to something,” he states, and I gulp, nerves threatening to get the better of me.

“And what’s that?”

He rakes his teeth over his bottom lip as he rocks back on his heels. “I want to help you control your fire so you’re not setting yourself on fire by accident,” he declares, his words hanging in the air like a cloud, leaving me unsure of what might fall from it.

Instead of letting it turn into a thick, gray, weighted cloud, I exhale. “Okay,” I breathe, accepting his offer, and his eyes widen a fraction.

It’s amusing to catch him off guard.

“Perfect. We won’t start today, but get ready for it, okay?” he confirms, and I nod.

“Now, the rest of it,” Sax proceeds, glancing down the list again. “He could really try to use all of these against you as one giant hook. He could offer you the freedom to find yourself. Although, the only obstacle with that would be him,” he grumbles, nostrils flaring with irritation as he itches his jaw. “I feel like he’s already started encouraging you to take pride in who and what you are. So far, both relics have delved into the history of phoenixes. The situation with your mom today was a little different, but it still offers a sliver of the story about them, and not just your mother.” His eyes skim further down the paper. “Finding your place in the world without your parents’ control would be curious to him. However, it would place you under his control, and he would be stupid to use that against you,” he continues as I bite at my thumbnail, nerves getting the better of me.

“I want to love so hard it hurts,” Archer breathes, my own words washing over me, but I refuse to shrink under the weight of them.

I meant it when I wrote them, and I mean it now.

“I don’t see how he could use that against me,” I state, and Baron huffs.

“He could offer you a life that hasn’t been shrouded in secrets, tainted with lies, and shattered by pain,” he declares, stealing my breath as my pulse rings in my ears.

“Maybe, but I have no interest in what that man has to offer. My experiences, regardless of the pain they’ve caused, have played a part in making me who I am, and I kind of like her,” I reaffirm, and his eyebrows rise a fraction, making it clear I’ve surprised him. Before he can offer any kind of rebuttal, I clear my throat and nod at the piece of paper. “ I want to see more than my confines have offered,” I summarize. “That could be translated into a seekable desire for him,” I state, and they nod. “But the last one has no relevance to him.”

I can sense a shift in the energy that surrounds me, unspoken questions on the tips of their tongues, and I brace for them, but to my shock, they don’t come.

“So, to shorten your list to deliverable desires…” Sax starts, dragging his fingertip over the paper once more before he flips it over and reaches for the pen on the edge of the desk. He doesn’t speak for a moment, scribbling away, until the pen clatters to the table and he stands straight once more. The paper is caught between his finger and thumb as he lifts it in the air, but instead of my writing staring back at me, it’s a new list.

Ivy’s Desires

The freedom to find herself.

Take pride in being a phoenix.