Page 17 of Hero of Havoc

“I feel like I need a shower again,” I mumble as a shiver runs down my side.

“Seeing someone die is⁠—”

I lift my free hand toward him, a pointed look on my face. “Are you trying to counsel me about this? Because if you are, I'm more than happy to share and set you straight. A dead body waited for me at the altar when my mates decided to reclaim me. I watched Leonardo kill the leader of the Second Kingdom, and then the guy trying to clean up the mess, purely due to his lack of patience.”

My chest heaves as the words part my mouth, irritation threatening to taint the deliciousness of my pizza as my brother sighs.

“But none of them were your father,” he says softly, and I scoff.

“Exactly. This time I had a reason to want the person dead.”

Sadness tugs at the edges of my mind, despite the truth in my words. I take the next slice of pizza while Hugo remains quiet for a moment, the pause needed as we both digest the truth. And for a moment, I'm pulled from my own thoughts and distress to consider my brother’s.

“Are you sad?” I ask, and he shakes his head.

“No, not really. I just… there was always something missing with him, no true bond or connection. Now it just feels more final, I guess.”

“That's true,” I admit.

“There's always been something we've been longing for, something that we only ever got from each other, and there is an air of finality about it now, knowing we will never get it from him. It's the idealism of a role that you hope someone holds up to, but unfortunately for us, we got the short straw.” Sadness worms its way into my heart. I wasn’t ready to see it like that just yet, but here we are, drowning in it regardless. Hugo stops, reaching for my wrist to grab my full attention. “I want you to love me so much you bawl your eyes out when I die,” he blurts, and my eyes widen in surprise.

“I’d rather you just didn't die,” I admit, and he offers me a soft, sad smile.

“We're not all like you, Vee,” he admits, and I gulp.

Stuck in my thoughts, we remain quiet as we cut across campus while I inhale the rest of my pizza and absorb the sun.

Discarding the empty pizza box in the next trash can, I fold my arms around my middle as I finally find the strength for words.

“It is pretty sad that I don't feel the loss of someone I shared blood with,” I mumble.

“His presence has always been associated with pain,” my brother confirms.

“Because we were always a burden,” I clarify, and sadness squints at the corners of his eyes.

“Not with me,” he breathes, a knowing look in his eyes as I muster a smile.

“Not with me,” I repeat.

He offers me his arm, and despite the tension that continues to radiate between us, I link him.

“Are we going to continue to avoid the elephant in the room?” I ask, cocking a brow at him, and he grimaces.

“For a few more minutes,” he says with an air of defeat.

My pulse rings in my ears, the need to speak and unload my spiraling thoughts getting the better of me. Or is it that same fire that my phoenix sources burning through me? “Leonardo said I have a special smile reserved only for you,” I admit, unsure why I'm actually sharing that fact, and he nods.

“You do.”

My eyes widen in surprise. “How so?”

“It lights up your eyes and face, that smile, my smile, is the only time that, when you smile, you actually look alive and present. It’s something I treasure very much,” he admits, and I sigh.

“And yet you still lied to me.”

His hand curls around mine at the crook of his arm, holding me in place as he speaks. “Our connection is truer than anything else I know in this world, Ivy. That's never going to change. There are many reasons you were kept in the dark, but a lot of them aren't for me to say.”

“That's a cop-out,” I scoff, and he shrugs.