Page 101 of Hero of Havoc

Kicking my shoes off, I make quick work of discarding most of my clothes, each layer bringing me one step closer to peace until I’m in nothing but my boxer shorts, and I finally have half a chance to think. But thinking will only get me so far, and I need more than that, now more than ever.

Darkness floats around me as the water engulfs me, bringing me peace when my feet finally find the rocky bottom. The soft sand nestles between my toes as I exhale, releasing all of the air from my lungs as I lie down.

Closing my eyes, I let my pain take over, just like I do every time I find myself down here. My emotions are distorted by the water, but a vision quickly plays on the back of my eyelids.

My father’s smiling face warms my soul as he reaches for me, hands slipping under my armpits as he hikes me in the air and tosses me in the sea. I swallow a mouthful of water, but come up laughing and spluttering, pleading for him to do it again.

His laughter fills the air, his love unmatched as he bends to my every whim, and butterflies swarm my stomach as he ruffles my hair, pride gleaming in his eyes.

It’s my favorite pastime, hiding down here with just my memories, the closest I ever get to feeling close to my father, but tonight. Even as my childhood memories offer me comfort, something else plagues me too.

Deceit.

It’s in the corner of his mouth, the crinkles to his eyes, and the cords in his forearms.

Shame.

Because the man I idolized my entire life is a fraud, a lie.

He’s not the hero of the Fifth Kingdom.

He’s a mere hero of havoc.

23

IVY

As walks of shame go, this is my first.

But with Archer’s palm pressed against mine, I’m pretty sure I can handle it.

The morning sun is unforgiving on my shimmering, dusty-pink dress from last night, a slight difference from the uniform others wear around me.

Instinct has my mother’s voice in my head, shame resting on my shoulders, and embarrassment clinging to me, but I swallow down the old version of myself, straighten my spine, and walk tall with my head held high.

If Archer notices, he doesn’t acknowledge it as he strides with ease. I somehow manage to keep pace at his side, my heels clinking with every step as we cut across campus, bypassing the main academy to beeline for the sodality buildings.

The fierce flames framing the entryway of the Fire Protector dorms lure us closer, but I spot a familiar smiling face in the distance. Her gaze rakes over me from head to toe before her speed increases, and before I can even consider hiding, she skids to a stop in front of me, her mate a step behind.

“Ivy Hayworth, is this a walk of shame?” she muses, and I roll my eyes.

“Meadow,” Archer murmurs as I try to find my words, and she grins.

“Archer, what have you done to our girl?” she presses, and he shrugs.

“Absolutely ruined her,” he states, making her giggle as Toby shakes his head.

“I’m sorry, Meadow has no chill,” he adds, earning a back-handed slap from his mate, but he drapes his arms around her shoulders, pulling her in tight. “Meadow, say goodbye to our friend and let her go,” he declares, earning me a begrudging half-wave from my friend before they hurry down the pathway.

We don’t waste a single moment eliminating the rest of the distance, slipping through the flames and sagging with relief. Our pace naturally softens as we take the stairs to our floor.

There is still a heaviness in the air, one that’s unavoidable as our minds adjust to the past twenty-four hours, but it doesn’t feel intense. If anything, I feel closer to him than I ever have.

We probably have a lot to discuss, but right now, I’m happy to bask in the moment.

The moment we reach the second floor, uncertainty plants itself in my stomach, threatening to wreak havoc on my limbs when I spot a figure lying curled up in a ball outside of my door.

“What the fuck?” Archer grunts, nostrils flaring as he rakes his free hand through his hair, but two steps toward the hunched frame has understanding quickly washing over me.