Page 49 of Scouting the Single Dad

Layla:

Where Is your dad?

Hayes:

In the toilet. He just farted.

Layla:

He isn’t going to like you telling me he tooted LOLOLOL

Hayes:

Tooted! My new favorite word.

Layla:

I’m literally crying right now.

Hayes:

Shoot, he’s coming back Bye!!!!!!

Hayes:

I step away for sixty seconds and my reputation takes a nosedive into Dad Farted.

Layla:

You did toot, though . . .

Hayes:

A man never tells so I’m pleading the 5th. Also, hi again LOL I see she’s been busy brow-beating you into bending to her will.

Layla:

She is doing her best

Hayes:

Well I said before, if you want to get away to somewhere warm, Arizona is the place.

Layla:

I feel like, at this point, if I don’t, I’m going to be wracked with guilt for the rest of the month.

Hayes:

Until we’re a distant memory—or she steals my phone and messages you again, ha!

Layla:

I like Benny’s pitches, but I don’t want her to . . . I don’t know how to word this without sounding presumptuous.

Hayes:

Just say it.