Page 38 of Honest Boys Don’t Play

Her cheeks pinken. “Yes.”

“Then I’ll keep it.” It isn’t like I could get much for this old truck anyway.

Hopping out of the truck, I hurry around to her side and open the door for her.

She shakes her head, but I don’t miss her hint of a smile. She can pretend to not like me opening her door all she wants, but I know she secretly likes it.

Grabbing a buggy just inside the door, I head for the produce first. Since I’m here, I might as well grab some other things we need. Bertie loves fruit so I grab strawberries, blueberries, and raspberries. Bertie walks beside me her hand absentmindedly resting on the swell of her stomach. There’s no hiding that she’s pregnant now.

“I’m going to get some salad,” she says, already heading away from me over to the small selection of refrigerators. I trail after her and scoop up a bag of grapes, another of apples, and some bananas.

She adds her salad selection to the cart and we continue.

Soon enough I have the English muffins, eggs, Canadian bacon, and cheddar cheese for her sandwich.

Once everything is bagged up and paid for, I put everything in the bed of my truck. There’s no room for anything in the cab.

When I turn around, I find Bertie still just inside the doors staring at one of those vending machine things that are always filled with cheap bobbles for kids. I wheel the cart inside to put away and she’s still checking it out.

Before I can ask her about it, she says, “Every time I went to the grocery store with my nanny I always begged to stop and get one of these.” She taps the glass. “She always told me no, I’m sure she knew my parents wouldn’t approve, but one day she caved and let me get something. It was a small silver ring with a blue and red ying yang symbol on it. I thought it was the coolest thing ever.” She gives a laugh lacking humor. “My mom was most unhappy when she finally noticed it, but I didn’t care. A week or so later it went missing and I was devastated. I convinced myself I just lost it, but in my heart, I doubt that’s what happened.”

This girl continues to break my heart.

It’s obvious that what she wants most in this world is for someone to see her. The real her. To love her wholeheartedly with no strings attached. I know I’m that guy, but she hasn’t realized it yet. One day, though, she’s going to see I’m not just here because of the baby.

Digging in my pocket I pull out enough change for the vending machine.

“Luke, no.” She tries to make a grab for my wrist, but she’s too late, I’m already twisting the nob and my change disappears.

Out pops one of the plastic balls and I hand it to her.

I make a vow then that every fucking time I see one of these things to get one for her.

She stares down at the plastic ball with childlike wonder. She pops the lid off and out pops a plastic gold ring with a bedazzled pink heart, but the way she looks at it I’d think I’d spent thousands on it. She slides it onto her pinky, the only finger it will fit on, and extends her hand so she can check it out fully. Her smile spreads fully as she takes it in.

Best seventy-five cents I’ve ever spent.

I want to wrap my arms around her and give her a hug. I want to tell her she’s worthy of every good thing in the world even if it’s only a cheap plastic ring that she wants. But something tells me if I do, she’ll start crying again and I really don’t want to make her cry again today.

I wrap my arm around her shoulders, as close to a hug as I’ll allow myself. “Come on, B. Let’s get you home and I’ll make your sandwich.”

She lets me guide her to the truck and open her door, but the whole time she keeps stealing glances at the ring.

CHAPTER 14

BERTIE

Luke’s side of the bed is cold when I wake up, as it has been every morning since I moved in here. I might be convinced he’s sneaking out and going to sleep on the couch if it weren’t for the fact that I’m getting up anywhere from two to three times in the night to go pee. I don’t even want to think about how many times I’ll go to the bathroom once I’m the size of a watermelon.

I stretch my arms above my head before digging my closed fists into the center of my back. I desperately need a prenatal massage, but I haven’t scheduled one because I’m not sure how closely my parents might be monitoring my account. I’ve had access to my own account for as long as I can remember. Every month a sizable sum is scheduled to go into it, but my father’s name is also on the account. They’ve never cared in the past what I spent the money on, but after how things went down with them, I’m hesitant to dip into it. At least I’ll soon have access to my trust fund that my grandparents had set up for me. I wasn’t allowed access to it until I was twenty-five or if I graduated college I would gain access then. That wasn’t my motivation for completing a four-year degree, but it didn’t hurt.

After a quick shower, I change into a workout set. “Holy hell,” I mutter, catching my reflection in the mirror. “My boobs are huge.”

I had a decent C cup before, but already these bad boys must be almost a double D. If they get even bigger after this little one is here, I’m going to be in trouble.

Turning to the side, I smooth my hand over my stomach. For the past few weeks, there’s no longer been any denying that I’m pregnant. Not even my over-sized sweaters have been able to hide it. Though, now that we graduated, I haven’t felt like I need to cover up.

I know I have nothing to be ashamed of, but I didn’t want to deal with lingering stares, and questioning looks from people I knew.