Page 27 of Honest Boys Don’t Play

When I get back to Bertie’s room, she’s taping the box of clothes shut. She exhales heavily and I can’t help but notice the dark circles under her eyes.

“Did you sleep okay?”

“Mostly. I had a bad dream about the baby, and it stressed me out.”

I settle on her bare mattress, and she stretches her legs out in front of her where she sits on the floor. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“It was silly. The baby was crying and nothing I did worked and I just…” She tucks a loose strand of hair from her ponytail behind her ear. “I felt like a failure. What if I’m not good at this?”

Her insecurities about becoming a mom break my heart. Bertie doesn’t see what a kind, caring, and downright brilliant woman she is. Any kid is going to be lucky to call her mom.

“I know you’re going to be amazing at it, but I also know that me saying those words isn’t going to magically erase your fears. But when you worry like this, I just want to remind you that you’re not alone. I’m right here with you, learning alongside you and supporting you.”

“I know.” She ducks her head. “Believe me, I know, but when the baby comes it’s going to be the same time your season is starting and I have no idea how paternity leave works in the NHL but regardless, you can’t take it.”

I rear back. “What do you mean?”

She gives me a sad look. “It’s your rookie season, Luke. You have to be there. You can’t afford to miss practices and games because of us.” She rubs her belly. “And that means you’ll be traveling and I’ll be alone with the baby.”

My brain begins to spiral. I didn’t consider the fact that the timing is so close to my season starting. The baby is due right before the first practice is scheduled. Somehow it didn’t click with me how closely the two overlap, and Bertie is unfortunately right, especially with this being my first season I can’t afford to not be there.

“We’ll figure it out,” I finally say, and I mean it. Whatever it takes, I’ll figure out how to do both. Give my team the best version of me and be there in every way Bertie needs.

“You can’t stretch yourself too thin, Luke.” Her hand stills on her belly and she smiles. “The baby is moving. Do you want to try to feel again?”

I’m off the bed and kneeling on the floor beside her before she can finish her question.

She yanks her t-shirt up and grabs my hand, pressing it to her bare stomach. “Right there,” she says excitedly. Her big blue eyes look up at me with wonder. “Do you feel that?” Disappointment floods me and she must see it written plainly on my face, because she moves her hand. “What about here?”

My head drops. “No, I don’t feel anything yet.”

Her shoulders fall. “Oh. Maybe after another week, you’ll feel it.”

I let my hand drop away from her stomach. “It’ll be worth it when I can.”

With a sigh, she says, “I better finish packing.” She stretches to reach for another box to assemble but I grab it before she can.

“I’ve got it.” I put it together and secure it with packing tape. “I’ll run this one out.” I scoop up the last one she finished.

“It shouldn’t be too much more.”

“Take your time. Do you want me to run and get you a Sprite?”

Her eyes widen with desire. “Yes, please.”

Eager to please her, I make the trek down with the box and drive to the closest McDonald’s. If something as simple as a fountain soda makes her happy then I’m more than happy to get her one.

The lady at the drive-thru gives a soft laugh as she hands me the cup. “You really like Sprite, don’t you?”

I smile as I slip a koozie on to keep the cup from sweating. I spotted it at the grocery store the other day and thought it would be good to keep in my truck whenever I pick one of these up for Bertie.

“It’s for my…” I get tripped up, because I can’t exactly say girlfriend, but I don’t know what else to call her. “It’s for my girl. She’s pregnant and this is her craving.”

“Ah.” The woman nods. “I remember those days. You take care now, hon.”

On my drive back, I go slow and really try to take it all in.

I can’t believe my time at Aldridge University is coming to an end. I’m going to be sad to say goodbye to this time in my life. I’ve done a lot of learning and growing while I was here.