Page 15 of Honest Boys Don’t Play

LUKE

She wasn’t kidding. This mattress is like a fucking cloud and under different circumstances I’d be sleeping like a baby, but instead I keep thinking about the look on her face when she found out her parents weren’t here.

I might’ve only had my mom, but she always showed up for me.

Bertie grew up with privilege, there’s no denying that when you see a house like this one, but those things aren’t everything. And seeing all this? I wouldn’t trade the love I got from my mom, despite the struggles we had, for this. It makes me sad for Bertie that she didn’t have the kind of love in her life that I did.

The door creaks open and I sit up. There’s just enough light in the hall to illuminate Bertie’s form.

When she notices me sitting up, she freezes. “Oh, you’re up?”

I chuckle softly. “Were you trying to sneak in here to ravage me in my sleep?” I tease.

It’s too dark to see, but I have no doubts she’s blushing. “No,” she drawls. “I … I couldn’t sleep and I didn’t want to be alone.”

“Come here.” I toss the covers back on the other side of the bed.

She closes the door and scurries over, jumping into the air to get into the bed. “I hate how high these beds are,” she says, rolling to her side to face me. “I’m always convinced someone’s hiding under them just waiting to grab my ankles.”

“Ah, so that’s why you jumped in the air and leaped at me.”

She cracks a smile, her teeth a bright spot in the dark. “Yep.” Sobering, she says, “Promise me something?”

“What?” I ask.

“That we’ll never let our child feel unloved by us.”

It breaks my heart that she even thinks she has to ask me to promise something like that.

“You don’t need to worry about that.” I brush a piece of blond hair off her forehead, carefully tucking it behind her ear. I let my fingers linger a little too long against the pulse point at her neck. Her heart stutters and I try not to smile. Sometimes I think Bertie is indifferent to me and then it’s things like that that remind me she’s just scared and hesitant to let her heart go again after her horrible ex.

“I want you to promise me anyway.”

My eyes search hers and I wish desperately I could erase the insecurity there.

“I promise.”

“Thank you.” She pulls the covers up to her chin. “Is it okay if I sleep here? It’s a big enough bed that I probably won’t even touch you.”

“It’s fine with me, B.”

She stifles a yawn. “Thank you for coming with me. I’m glad I’m not here alone.”

Fuck, there she goes again breaking my heart little by little. “I would never make you do this by yourself.”

She gives me a tiny closed-mouth smile. “I’m glad it’s you.”

“What does that mean?”

“That you’re the father my child has. This kid is going to be lucky to have you.”

She has no idea but it’s the best compliment she could ever give me. “I’m glad it’s me too.”

She closes her eyes. “Night, Luke.”

“Goodnight, B.”

Soon, her breaths become soft and even, but I lie awake for a long time thinking about what our future is going to look like.