Page 81 of Ashes to Ash’s

Cal slapped my ass with one hand, the other still bracing the other cheek as he pushed deeper. It kept stretching me, pushing relentlessly, filling me, and yet I wanted more. I wanted it to hurt. I wanted him to take my virginity, not fucking edge it away.

“DAMMIT, CAL!”

He thrust forward, his pelvis crashing against me as the full thickness of his cock filled me in the brutal plunge I’d been begging for, and yet couldn’t have imagined the intensity of.

My god. It stung, it felt so huge inside me, but I loved it. Cal’s fingers threaded into my hair, and he tightened them, lifting my head from the bed.

“Okay?” He whispered, his voice practically a rasp. I tried to nod, but his grip was too tight, so I finally murmured yes, over and over, as my brain seemed to disconnect from reality. I felt like I was here, but not here. I felt like I was everywhere at once, but nowhere. Nowhere but with him. My mind was fragmented, all fears and anxieties gone, silenced, as if they never existed.

“I love you,” I whimpered, feeling tears burning my eyes at the beauty of this moment. The moment when Cal finally claimed me as his, finally took what I’d been offering ever since we first met, long before I even truly understood what I wanted, or what this could be. When he was just a boy I fancied, and became obsessed with.

“Gonna fuck you like a bastard, but I love you too, baby. You’re being so good and sweet for me. If I make you scream, you’re gonna thank me after.”

Who the hell was Cal right now? He was all the things I’d wanted before, all my darkest wants and desires, all packaged inside the man I loved. The man who’d be gentle with me, who’d take care of me, who’d protect me, but planned to be savage now, because it’s what we both needed.

His heat left my back as he suddenly drew out, almost all the way, and the sensation felt like a loss, until he plunged deep again. Another sharp brutal move that wrenched a ragged gasp from my throat. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

He was giving me what I’d begged for. Being rough, making sure there was pain with my pleasure, giving me both sides of that coin I liked to spin.

He kept a tight grip on my hair as he did it again, and again, his cock gliding back and forth with a savageness I hadn’t known he possessed. Something that was only for me, only for the bedroom.

I was uttering pained whines and gasps, even as each thrust ended with a pleasured groan. He was taking me apart, and putting all the pieces of me back together, rebuilding me for his own desires. Making me his, from the inside out. It burned, it hurt, but it felt like bliss. A true heaven, just like his family would have preached about, but they would never have achieved it.

“God, yes! More. More!”

Cal

I’d waited too long for this. I’d let myself miss out on something so pure and beautiful, and fucking life affirming. I’d pushed Ash away so many times, when all I wanted was to bring him closer, to make him mine. To show him I could love him the way he deserved to be loved.

He was clenching the bedding in his fists, his breaths gushing out of him, wrapped around yelps, and moans, which seemed to alternate with each move as I plunged into him, over and over.

If this was what hell felt like, I wanted it forever. If Ash was leading me into deviance, I would follow him willingly. If being who I was always meant to be was the path to my destruction, then let it be. It felt like salvation, but more than that, it felt like what I was made for. I was made for him. I was made for loving this twisted man, who’d never given up on me, on us. He’d always known we were meant for each other. He’d never stopped trying to prove it.

Mine always, that’s what he truly was, now and forever. Until our last breaths, which I was pretty sure we’d take at the same time, because there was no way one of us could survive without the other. We were destiny realised, forgiveness freely given, we were the culmination of so much love and hate, building and fighting against each other, until one thing remained. US.

“How’s that, Ash? Does that feel good?”

He whimpered, arching his back to offer more of his sweet ass. It felt like he was trying to pull me deeper inside him, so if that’s what he wanted, as his man, I should be giving him that.

I was gripping his hip so tightly, I could see the skin whitening with the pressure, but I couldn’t let go. Couldn’t stop. My other hand slapped at his ass, adding little snaps of pain to his pleasure, because apparently he needed that, and oddly, I enjoyed giving him both.

“Is it hurting so good, baby?”

He whined, nodding rapidly against the bedding, murmuring something under his breath that I couldn’t hear. It was almost as if he had started to pray, as if he had found religion, or god, in this moment.

“What’s that?” Thrust. “You begging for more?” Thrust. “Praying to a god that doesn’t exist?”

Ash laughed breathlessly, shaking his head as he arched into the next deep thrust, and a guttural ‘fuck’ left his throat.

“Worshipping me?” Slam. “You can.” Slam. “I’m your god now…”

If I was about to be struck down by a vengeful god, smiting me for my sins, and my love, then so be it. I would never again let such arcane beliefs dictate my life and my pleasures to me.

“Take… it… you fucking… whore. You’re… my whore, now… Ash!”

“Yes!... I’m yours!... Break me, Cal… Fix me!”

He was shuddering beneath me, his fingers so tightly clenched around the bedding that they looked like they were clawed. The sight, along with how fucking amazing it felt to keep slamming my cock deep into his silken ass, was destroying the last vestiges of my control. I couldn’t hold back. I couldn’t stop. I slammed home once more, my cum jetting out of me, and into him, like it wanted to glue us together for eternity. Mine. My fucking love. My sweet boy. Mine.