Page 78 of Ashes to Ash’s

Cal started to laugh, but it dried up fast. “As a kid, or more recently?”

“A kid! Obviously!”

“I mean, not gonna lie. I kinda wanted to piss myself with him behind me like that. Could you feel that coldness wafting off of him? If I was still religious, I’d swear he was a demon, or fucking Satan himself.”

Ugh. We needed to stop thinking about that sick fucker, and start moving on.

“That anti-religious group claiming responsibility is a weird twist, right? Who the fuck are they?”

Cal

That bit was freaking me out too. Who the hell were these people, and why the hell were they taking responsibility for murders they didn’t commit? I mean, as the people who actually did it, we were the only ones other than them that knew it was a lie, but it was creepy. Did this mean other murders weren’t committed by organisations who claimed they did it? Was it all about using these deaths to further a cause, rather than the truth? Did they know it was us, and this would be something they’d raise later to-

“Babe, don’t go too deeply into it. I wanna fuck you in a minute. Just… it’s definitely weird, right?”

I set my beer down, and wiped the condensation from my palm, leaning beside Ash. Beside him always felt like where I should be, and I think that had always been the case, at least for longer than I’d been willing to admit.

“It makes me wonder what their deal is. Like, were they already planning something and we just jumped ahead of them? If they’re supporting gay rights, then maybe they had them and others on their radar already. We might have saved them a job, but maybe it was always going to happen.”

Ash sighed, leaning his head against mine. “The main thing is that they’re dead, and we can move on. No more obstacles…” He pulled away again, turning me to face him. “There aren’t any more, right? This is us now.”

I nodded, because even if there were obstacles, I was starting to think that I’d leap over them to get to Ash, every damn time, and I hated that we’d lost those early moments in life that others got to treasure. The first meeting, the first kiss, the first touch. All of those things were fucked up by my own confusion, and the hate I’d been born into. By the things we were both forced into.

“This is us, Ash. Always. You think you’re obsessed, but I’m just as bad. I’ll walk through hellfire to get to you, and I’ll never let anyone come between us again.”

“Us against the world, Cal. Us and Ren. So… about this empty house we have right now…”

We both started chuckling, but he made a good point. We could do anything without worrying about Ren walking in on us.

I grabbed Ash’s face in a tight grip and grinned, as his breath left him in a rush.

“What if I want your ass this time, Ash? You gonna bend over and take it?”

He moaned softly, sliding a hand up my chest.

“Fuck, yes. Anything you want, Cal. Literally anything. Just own me. Own my mouth, my ass, all of me. I’m yours.”

I could feel that balance shifting again, where it normally put him in the dominant position, with me following his lead, I could feel that he was giving that control to me this time. We’d done that once before, and I fucking loved it. I didn’t want it all the time, but right now it felt like what we both needed.

“Upstairs,” I demanded, pressing my lips firmly against his before I released him.

He grinned widely, and dumped his empty beer bottle on the counter, turning to wiggle his ass cheekily at me before he headed for the stairs. I sipped slowly, resting one hand over my cock as it thickened, stroking it firmly.

We’d had so little time to enjoy each other, and I intended to spend every second I could doing just that.

I set the bottle down, still half full, and headed for the stairs, practically running by the time I reached the top. The longer Ash was away from me, the more I started to feel like a thread was stretching between us, getting thinner and more fragile by the second. I didn’t even realise it until I was halfway there. A sudden moment of panic making me fear that he wouldn’t be there when I reached our room. But he was. Oh hell yes, he was.

He was naked, standing beside the bed, one hand stroking his cock, while the other rested against the bed, almost like he was trying to entice me there. He didn’t need to do anything to entice me, except exist. He didn’t realise that, but then I’d never told him. Maybe I’d always made him feel like he wasn’t my first choice, because I’d fought it for so long, but he needed to know. He deserved to know.

“Knees.”

Ash dropped without a word, still stroking himself as I approached. I rested a hand on his head and pressed his cheek against my thigh, sliding my fingers gently through his hair.

“I choose you, Ash. I always chose you, even when I was too cowardly to say it. I will always choose you.”

He shuddered against my thigh, and I let him angle his face up, so he could meet my eyes. There was so much love there in his gaze, so much want and need, but love. I’d seen it before, but could he see the same reflected at him?

“Thank you,” he practically breathed, rubbing his cheek against my thigh, almost catlike behaviour from the man who’d always seemed more like a predator than a pet.