Page 35 of Ashes to Ash’s

“Seriously?”

Cal coughed, and tugged at his hand, drawing my eyes back to his face. He nodded frantically, and Jesus, he looked so fucking pale, and weak. I was losing him before we even fucking started. Tears were burning my eyes, and I was so tired of being an emotional fucking baby. He needed me to be stronger than this. He needed my strength to keep him safe.

“Dad!”

He was tapping away at a keyboard.

“Okay, I think he’s just having an anxiety attack, kid. There’s nothing in his hospital records to say he suffers from any respiratory conditions, not even asthma.”

“Try slapping him,” dad Gray yelled from somewhere in the background.

“Gray, that’s not really helpful.”

“What? He’s been a complete fucking asshole. Slap him, kid. Slap him for me.” Ugh. Why was his timing always off on this shit. That was so five fucking minutes ago.

“Dad, shut it! So he’s not dying on me? He’ll be okay, right?”

“Why…” Cal gasped out, “how…”

I squeezed his hand, and waited him out, even my dads falling silent for once.

“Go on, baby.”

“How’d… they… know?”

Oh. It was weird how I knew exactly what he was asking, but maybe that was part of our deep fucking connection, or something. Maybe it was logic. Of course he’d wonder how they knew what was happening. Of course he’d wonder how they knew anything about him.

“How… they know… about me?”

“Blaze hacked you,” dad Dory said suddenly, and I felt like a prick. Of course it was obvious to everyone. I hadn’t figured out anything deep. Jesus, did we even have a connection?

“Okay, I’m done here. Wait… can you send me addresses for his uncle and parents?”

My dads were quiet for a moment, then I heard dad Gray starting to laugh.

“Shut it, Gray. Why are you asking, Ash?”

“Obviously he’s going on a killing spree, baby,” dad Gray answered him for me, “and I’m so proud. Our little boy’s all grown up.”

Ugh. I cut off the call and tossed my phone aside.

“You…”

I leaned over to kiss Cal’s temple, and kept stroking his face, and slowly his breathing started to balance out again.

“Me what?”

“Your… your dads are fucking insane.” Yeah, tell me something I don’t know.

Cal

I really thought I was dying, or that I’d pass out, and never wake up. I even wondered if I’d angered God after all, and that was my penance, but Ash’s dad said it was an anxiety attack, and although he hadn’t been helpful at all after that, it gave me some peace of mind, to know it was something real, and not connected to my former faith. When it’d happened in the past, my parents told me it was because I’d sinned, and was being punished.

“Get up on the bed, babe, I’m gonna get you something to drink,” Ash said as he literally hauled me up and eased me onto the bed. We were both still naked, but in some ways that was a good thing, because I was getting used to being naked around him, and seeing him that way. The fact that he had unnerving strength, which his surprisingly wiry shape didn’t even hint at, was something I’d have to remember, because if we came to blows, there was no way I’d win. That said though, if we came to blows, I had a feeling Ash would get off on it. He kept telling me to hurt him, like he craved it. Was he as insane as his dads, and why was I asking myself that? Of course he was.

“Sip this, babe.” A glass of water was being pressed into my trembling hand, and he helped me lift it, while I still felt weak. Each cool sip seemed to send a trickle of calm through me, like the sensory experience alone was helping to ground me. I didn’t even consider what he’d given me, or if it was safe. I trusted him. Bizarre, but true. After all we’d done to each other, I trusted him, trusted that he was helping me.

“How did you know that’d help?”