Page 84 of Shifter Omegaverse AU

“Milo?” Rowan murmured, and Milo nearly jumped out of their skin.

He was much closer than Milo had been expecting, not quite leaning all the way into Milo’s seat, but hovering just above the center console.

“I’m sorry,” Rowan said, pulling back. “I thought I was clearly, uhm, what did you call it? Telegraphing? But I should have asked first. Did you want a goodnight kiss?”

“Gods,” Milo said, running a hand down their face. The fog was getting sneakier, slipping in around the edges and muddying not just their head but their perception of the world around them.

They really needed to talk to someone about this. Ray had reminded them twice to call their former grief counselor, but…they were just so tired.

At the bare minimum, they should probably tell Rowan or Ray. That seemed like a lot for tonight, though, so Milo went with something a bit simpler.

“Next week is the two-year anniversary of Anabelle’s death,” Milo said, and Rowan sucked in a sharp breath.

“Milo—”

“Sometimes, I can get a bit… Ray called it ‘lost.’ It’s not quite like that, but let’s just say I can be a little out of it around this time, and it’s probably going to happen throughout the weekend. I’m sorry in advance, and I promise it’s never about you, but, yeah, maybe asking explicitly is best for both of us right now.”

Rowan’s eyes were like starless patches of the night sky, vast and unknowable until, like a shooting star, yellow flashed across his eyes. “I’m so sorry, baby. Is there anything I can do for you? Do you not want to go away this weekend…or to my parents next week?”

“No,” Milo said, placing their hand palm down on the center console. “I’d really like to go to the cabin with you, and I want to be there for you and Ray and even Ruben next weekend.”

Rowan’s brows pulled down, but he placed his hand on the console next to Milo’s. “Okay, if that’s what you want to do.”

What Milo wanted was for Anabelle to be here. They understood how hard it must be for Ray to have parents so uninvested in his life that they wouldn’t even care to meet his fated mate. But it also sucked not having any blood relatives to introduce Rowan to. They would, of course, introduce him to Ethel, probably sooner rather than later if her impatient texts had anything to say about it, but it wasn’t quite the same.

Instead of saying any of that, Milo leaned forward until they were hovering above their hand. “I want a goodnight kiss and to go get some sleep so I’m bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for tomorrow.”

Rowan’s small smile and sweet-as-candy kiss stayed with Milo all the way inside and upstairs into bed. Sadly, nothing could scare away their nightmares, and Milo spent most of the night tossing and turning until they finally gave up and watched one of Anabelle’s favorite documentaries on the history of sewing machines.

17

Author’s note:

I have both grieved and tried to be there for someone who was grieving, and honestly, they’re both hard. As I face down an upcoming major loss in my life, I am eternally grateful to everyone who is supporting me through this. Thank you for reading this story and for sitting with Milo through their grief.

Rowan

Growing up, Ruben’s favorite holiday was the Winter Solstice, when their alpha ma would take them to cut down a large fir tree and the house would fill with the smell of warm spices and baked goods. Ruben was always the first one awake the morning of the winter feast, and he stayed energized all day, fueled by cookies and hot cocoa. Rowan could take or leave the holiday, but it had always seemed just a bit more magical because of Ruben’s joy and excitement.

One year, when they were both in elementary school, Ruben had come down with the flu right before the Solstice. He hadn’t woken up early, and when Rowan went to check on him, he’d barely stirred. Even Raina wafting freshly baked cinnamon rolls under his nose hadn’t roused him. Their alpha ma eventually came and retrieved him, carrying him on her hip throughout the day as she baked a ham and watched all the required holiday movies with the other kids. Ruben had still been excited, but it had been a subdued, quiet joy that made Rowan miss the five am wake-up call and blaring holiday music.

As Rowan showed Milo around his beloved cabin, he was reminded of that day in the way Milo’s smiles never showed all their teeth, and their eyes didn’t sparkle the way they usually did.

It was overcast outside, which didn't help the matter, but the cabin was still beautiful. Milo said as much as they absently traced their fingers over the ornately carved banister and admired the four-poster bed in Rowan’s bedroom.

“You’re of course welcome to stay in here with me,” Rowan said, wheeling his suitcase into the corner of the room and dropping his backpack.

Milo was clutching the strap of their black backpack like it held a parachute and they were getting ready to jump. They never had gone on that skydiving date. Maybe someday soon they could go, and Rowan could shift and fly down after them.

If everything went according to plan, Milo would get to see a lot of their hawk this weekend, but thus far, they were the one acting like a skittish bird, and it put Rowan’s hawk on edge.

“Is that okay? I don’t want to get in the way if you’d prefer some time and space for yourself,” Milo said, glancing out the door and across the hall at the guest room.

Rowan made sure his steps were loud, and he stopped a good foot in front of Milo before asking, “Can I kiss you?”

Milo’s head jerked up so fast they dropped their backpack. “Yes,” they breathed, and Rowan stooped down and pressed a soft kiss to their lips.

Rowan’s first appointment with his therapist had gone surprisingly well. She remembered him from when he was a child and was easily able to jump into a discussion about how his relationship with touch had changed over the years and what had stayed the mostly the same.