Page 41 of Shifter Omegaverse AU

Rowan stared at his entertainment center, at the movies he’d never watched and the chess set Riley had gotten him for high school graduation, which had gone untouched for over a decade. She hadn’t been there for Rowan’s last few years of high school, missing the rise and fall of his chess club career. She had tried to coax him into playing throughout their years together in college, but that had faded as they moved into adulthood.

Maybe Milo would have wanted to play chess with him. Milo didn’t necessarily give off “I love chess” vibes, but they always seemed down to try new things. Rowan would have loved to teach them everything he remembered.

There was probably no point in even asking now.

Rowan dropped his head and glared into his tea since he couldn’t very well glare at his hawk. He wasn’t going to be Milo’s mate. He wasn’t going to be Milo’s anything. The sooner he and his hawk accepted that, the better.

As Rowan stared at the straw-colored liquid in his mug, it began to shake, like the choppy waves of the river that ran behind his cabin. Obviously, it wasn’t the tea that was shaking; it was Rowan. He gripped the mug tighter, but that only made it worse.

Rowan had once had a front row seat to a classmate’s anxiety attack. His Business 201 class in college had been designed as a weed-out class to discourage students from committing to the intensive business program if they weren’t ready. Several students had broken down crying during the final, and the guy sitting next to Rowan had…well, he’d acted a bit like how Rowan felt right now. His breathing had picked up to the point where Rowan could hear it halfway down the row. His hands had shaken so badly that he dropped not just his pen but his entire exam on the floor. Instead of reaching down to pick it up, he just left it there while he sat there, trembling like a leaf.

Rowan hadn’t known what to do, given that the professor was quite aggressive about any talking during tests being considered cheating. He’d sunk lower in his seat and tried to focus on his test. Eventually, the TA came by and asked if the guy wanted to finish the exam. He had shaken his head and got up and left without looking back.

Obviously, Rowan couldn’t get up and leave right now, but he sort of wanted to. All of his thoughts and worries were swirling around his head like a shrieking tornado, and he couldn’t find a way to say any of them out loud. His hawk cawed at him, because if this was the last time they got to hang out with Milo, they should at least talk, but Rowan just…couldn’t.

If he were being honest with himself, that feeling wasn’t exactly new. Maybe he was more familiar with anxiety than he thought. Except that none of the late nights waiting up for Ruben to come home safe as a teen or the near-fights at clubs and bars over the years had ever come close to this.

His hawk fluffed up his feathers like he was preparing to take down a threat, except the threat was Rowan himself.

In some sort of innate act of self-preservation, Rowan put his tea down on the coffee table…

And the last thing he saw was gray eyes, darkened with concern.

10

Author’s Note:

*kicking feet and squealing* I’ve been looking forward to this moment for ten chapters!

Milo

If Milo’s pony knew how to talk, they would probably only have one thing to say right now.

Oh gods, oh gods, oh gods, oh gods.

That was also, as chance would have it, the only thing running through Milo’s head.

While their pony whinnied hysterically, Milo frantically dug through Rowan’s clothes, trying to unearth the screeching hawk underneath. For at least two full seconds there, Milo had thought Rowan had straight up disappeared, but then their brain had caught up with them, and they realized that no, of course Rowan hadn’t developed teleporting abilities, he’d just shifted.

The poor thing. He must have been so stressed after watching his brother face down a shifter practically twice his size. Hell, the nasty man had been even bigger than Rowan. Milo hadn’t enjoyed watching that interaction, but it hadn’t shaken them quite as badly. Perhaps because Milo had been there before, both on their own and with Ray. Usually, big guys like that were all bluster. They just wanted to feel superior, and clearly, whatever Ruben had said to him had taken the wind right out of his sails.

Maybe Rowan wasn’t as used to that brand of nightclub blustering and chest banging. It wasn’t fun and really made Milo question why Ray kept looking for men there, but it was what it was.

And now Ray had gone home with Ruben, which was definitely a choice. Milo had told Ray all about Ruben. The sad thing was, as long as Ruben was kind and up front with Ray about his intentions, or lack thereof, he would still be light years ahead of many of the other guys Ray had dated. As far as Milo was concerned, they were both adults and could do whatever they wanted.

Was Ray going to get his feelings hurt? Oh, absolutely. Was Milo going to feel bad for him? Of course. But what Milo wasn’t going to do was let it affect their relationship with Rowan.

Milo had added that to the list of things they needed to discuss with Rowan, but clearly, he wasn’t in the right headspace for it tonight. After they finished their tea, Milo had planned on heading home to get some shut-eye so they would be ready for berry picking and a lengthy discussion on Rowan and Milo’s relationship and now Ray and Ruben’s.

As Milo untangled Rowan’s shirt from his hawk’s leg, they accepted that they may need to adjust that plan.

“Uhm…hi,” Milo said, sitting back against the couch as Rowan’s hawk spread his wings and gave them a few good flaps. When the tips of one of his wings brushed Milo’s sleeve, he reeled back.

Milo leaned sideways to give the hawk more room. “I’m going to go out on a limb here and say you also don’t like being touched when you’re a hawk?”

Rowan’s hawk gave one more flap and then elegantly tucked his wings back against his sides. He bobbed his head, as if in a nod, but then he kept bobbing, almost like he was headbanging to some gnarly music.

Did…he want to listen to music?