Page 88 of Of Shadows and Blood

I descend the three small steps from my room. “Me as well. Avonde keeps me busy.”

“Tell me about it?” he asks as he offers his arm. We begin to walk the halls heading to the Chalice Room.

I begin to go over my mornings with the cess in their courtyard. My hands fly around as I animate the different things I have tried recently. I gesture and try to explain the different poses or the purposes behind some of our sequences. His smile and his attention does not waver.

“It makes me happy to see you here, in the castle, doing things that make you happy.” He beams, directing me down the stairs towards the Chalice Room.

“It has not been easy. Some mornings I awake unsure of myself. It is almost as if I can feel or envision the block on my mind. It’s like a wall and really, it is difficult. It’s difficult to know that on the other side of that wall is me, wholly…” My voice trails off at the end and I catch my breath.

Reading my body, he slows his steps and faces me. His hands find my face again and I do not flinch.

“Hello,” he whispers.

“Hi.”

“You are here, wholly. I knew you before the accident and I know you now. While there may be some pieces missing, you must know that I see you as complete.”

“I just…” I catch myself.

“Go on.”

I turn to keep walking, brushing my hands nervously. “How are you okay with any of this? Coping must not be easy.”

“No, it is not. But what is the alternative? Liv, I will never claim you, you’re not property, but you have been mine for a long time. I can wait longer.”

We approach the large wooden doors. No guards are stationed tonight, he made sure of that.

“What if… What if…”

Cedric steps in front of me again and places his warm hands on my shoulders this time, as if he can will me to see his truth. “No more what ifs. We take it day by day. You take it day by day. I am not important in this. Your health, soul and overall wellbeing is astronomically more pertinent. Promise me you will focus on your healing and not obligation?”

“Promise.”

“Good.” He steps back and opens the doors.

Instead of a packed room filled with nobles and courtiers, he’s arranged a private dinner between the two of us tonight. Melting candles light a pathway to our single table in the center.

“Shall we?”

“You arranged all of this?” He leads me to the small table and pulls my chair.

“Why of course. Do you think I love having hundreds of drunk vampyr in here every night?”

I can’t help my laugh, but then that thought is interrupted by someone else in my head. Chills run down my spine.

“Did you say something?” I unfold my napkin.

“Yes.” He points to his head laughing. “I was thinking to say you’re a better sight. Truly, it’s both nice and concerning to have you in my head once more.”

I lean in. “It’s driving me nuts. Did we speak through the bond often before?” A servant enters from a side door and places two goblets in front of us and a few small plates of different foods.

“It depended. It was nice to have a moment to ourselves in public or during court duties. Times of contention when secrecy was needed. Sometimes it was just fun to switch over.”

“But can’t all cess, like Avonde, read minds? That ruins the secrecy aspect.”

He winks. “You’re picking up on it nicely. Yes, we have to know our enemies better than ourselves.”

“I imagine. Okay, so blood…” I point at the golden chalice. He nods. “And wine?” I point to the silver and he nods once more.