Page 68 of Of Shadows and Blood

“Fine,” I murmur, dragging my skirts behind me as I attempt to lift one leg into the stirrup. I reach for the pommel but before I reach it, Cedric lifts me up onto the horse.

“Thank you,” I say, straightening myself on the saddle. Cedric hoists himself up behind me. “Don’t you have your own horse?” I lean forward.

“Yes,” he says as he reaches over me for the reins.

“Why not ride yours?” I’m completely caught off guard by the sudden closeness. It’s one thing to link arms but to be flush with him…

“We’re on him.”

“Got it,” I say, sitting upright, trying to not sink completely into him.

“Besides, you think I would trust you to ride alone after that story you just shared?” he says close to my ear. I jump at the vibration of his voice next to my ear.

“You have a point,” I murmur.

Cedric kicks the horse into a trot, leaving the stables behind as we go directly into the forest. The silence of the forest isn’t necessarily silent. Bubbling brooks, the crunch of the forest floor beneath Steele’s hooves—

Steele. Very fitting for Cedric’s horse.

Neither one of us speaks as Cedric steers us through the dense woods. I think both of us are enjoying the beauty of this raw nature. Completely untouched and unfiltered by man.

“How far back is your memory of the farm, the village?” Cedric asks, breaking the peaceful quiet.

“Oh.” I pause, not quite expecting this question. “It’s hard to say. My mind is convinced I was always there. But it’s quite… vague.” I immediately remember the feeling of being sore but no memory of actually working the fields.

“Hmm.” Cedric ponders this. “You mentioned a mother?”

“Ma, yes.”

“What did she look like?” he asks, eyes searching the path.

“She was older with freckles upon her face like a map. Greying, bronze hair and she was short in stature,” I explain as the vision of her feels so clear to me even now.

“Your own mother had a head of dark, soot-colored hair and your father was a pale blonde like yourself,” he replies softly.

I pocket that knowledge and feel an affirmation root in me. “Yes, she wasn’t really my mother, but she acted like one. Obviously, I now know she wasn’t mine. I don’t know what her purpose was, in my head, but I have this deep connection to her. She was the most thoughtful person my mind could have conjured up. She would bring back trinkets from her journeys to markets in other villages, braid my hair in the mornings and sing with me while we did art.”

Due to the pain of it, knowing she didn’t exist, I haven’t spoke of her since my first day in Lux. But in my heart, she did. And I miss her.

Steele continues along a dirt road, stepping over a fallen tree. A few posts along the side of the road have hanging lanterns. I wonder who tends to their flame.

“She sounds like someone I know. A rare personality. I’m sorry, you must miss her.”

My heart aches a little at his words. “Thank you, Cedric. You know, it’s nice to have my experiences validated. Truly.”

I can almost hear the smile in his voice when he says, “You’re welcome, Liv.”

“Do you mind telling me more about my accident?” My teeth chew on my lower lip, unsure of the well of emotions I risk opening. In many ways, I am thankful I do not remember the assault. But I should know what happened to me. If my healing is important, then I need more information. To lose your whole life requires so many questions with an equal amount of confusion.

Cedric sucks in a breath and urges Steele over a small creek. The birds chirp around us excitedly, no doubt feeling the change in temperature. He adjusts himself behind me, his leather gloved hand lightly resting on the back of my thigh before retracting it. We dismount Steele by a large hill of grass, Cedric tying him off on a tree. The grass prickles my legs through my linen dress as I sit and I pick at them haphazardly, the sun warming my face.

“Where do you want me to begin?” Cedric stands in front of me, blocking the sun. His silhouette shades most of his features but he emanates a relaxed demeanor outside of the castle. Deftly, he sits adjacent to me.

“Why was I on the border?” I ask, thinking this question the first step.

He removes a glove and draws a rough shape into a dry dirt patch between us. “This is the continent, roughly. Not a cartographer, I’m afraid. Here is Lux.” Then, he makes a shape in the bottom, jutting off the map. “Here is Duresden.” He sketches a line between Lux and the southwestern coast. “And here is Krue and the Rhydian mountains.” He draws a very small circle on the border between the two.

“Your role in the kingdom was not reserved just for royal duties. You’re a hybrid, which is…” He scratches his jaw, thinking. “It’s rare. So rare that we’ve only seen it one other time in history. Which means you’re strong. Very strong.”