Page 145 of Of Shadows and Blood

It’s useless. He knows my choice is absolute. I was a pawn that failed. I am the breaking point for Cedric. Rolan doesn’t realize he will never submit, even after my death. It’s not what I would have wanted.

Rolan settles into his throne and nods at the male cess hiding in the corner.

Short dreads adorned with beads clink together as he approaches and I startle at his resemblance. No, I remember him, the one who healed me my first night here. His nearly night-blue hair is unmistakable. Blurred moments of peace when I was allowed a healer. A shadow falls upon his face as he walks forward timidly, rubbing his hands together nervously.

My life has always hung on an edge, a precipice. From the moment I awoke from my dream state, to the threats I faced in Lux. Though I do not recall my life before the past few months, I know that Elivienne was never safe. There is more to this story, her bloodline. If only…

Too many ifs.

Sweat beads down my brow as I prepare to die. To cease my existence permanently here. Perhaps I will rejoin Ma at the farm. The cess’s robes swish across the floor of the throne room and time begins to slow. He looks at me and I make sure to look at the face of my executioner. I will be dead in mind and soul after this.

I pray it is swift.

With a deep breath, I ready myself for the kill. The job that was never completed. This moment is one I have imagined for quite some time. The moment when I finally leave this world, my soul ascending to the Gods. In many ways, this realization is met with peace. But in many more ways, this will be the moment my soul shreds itself apart.

With whatever magic I have strengthened over the last three months, I will my bond to reach Cedric. If this be the last time we feel each other… if this is the last time I can assure him that no amount of time with him would have ever been enough. That my soul, both Liv and Elivienne’s soul, is wholly attached to his beyond a doubt. As innate as one’s self, I know this.

Ced—

Searing white light erupts and cuts through my vision. I feel bones in my body bend and expand, muscles tearing and repairing under the spell. He’s trying to tear me apart.

I’m screaming. The sound doesn’t reach my ears because of the pain. Oh, Gods, the pain. My body lifts off the floor – at least I think so. I can’t feel but I can also feel everything. Every nerve fires from my toes to fingertips.

They’re flaying me internally.

Darkness and extreme light ebbs and flows around me. Breathing is like knives driving in my sternum. This is not where I end. It can’t be.

But I can’t fight.

This is too much. I have more to do. We have a purpose. What about my purpose!

In this moment, all I can do is force my will to focus on my bond with Cedric. I have to try. It takes everything in me to dig deep and find that tether to him one last time. Every will in me blasts a fool’s call.

I choose the most important memories. I show him the lake where we swam together under the stars. I show him our dancing in Duresden. When we drank. Our first kiss. Our last kiss. I show him the moments when we draped over one another in bed, whispering our deepest wants and wishes. And I finally show him the first time I saw him within my dreams during the coma. His warm smile and how affected I was in that moment. And hopefully, through all of this, I have shown him the deep well of love for this man, this king, that could never run dry.

The regret of never saying those words aloud washes over me as I feel my lifeforce shift. It’s strange, to feel one’s self sway.

As if I was ever whole.

Sound shatters all around and my body shakes violently as the spell wreaks its final havoc on my entire being. Everything is shaking. I feel like I’m leaving my body and being dragged back in violently. I don’t have the strength to fight, to survive. The light ripples and shifts into a deep red, and then purple and finally black. Warm, enveloping black.

I take my final breath as that scream fills the back of my mind.

Chapter 40

Sawyer

There is little left to fate in this world.

I am on my knees screaming. She is screaming. The magic-laced shackles have dug into my wrists to the point that my body has stopped healing itself. Rolan is on his throne watching her body flay within the shades of light the cess’s spell projects.

Liv’s aura is bending and warping outside of her body.

I will beg. “PLEASE!”

The cess, a familiar face, the one who is wielding the spell, glances at me and I swear I see a nod. The subtle duck of a chin. So short. A faint movement only I would notice.

Another bargain between us.