Page 14 of Of Shadows and Blood

I stand up, liquid falling down my legs and onto my feet. “Vampyr? What does he mean by that? What is he?” I demand, still moving away from Avonde.

“Now is not the time, you need rest. We put too much on you, and I apologize for that.”

“No. I need answers.”

“And how do you expect us to give them to you when you react like –” she waves her hands at me – “this.” I look down at myself and the mess I’ve made.

“I—”

“Sit,” Avonde orders, sighing at the mess on the floor. I find a spot next to the ripped fabric of the couch. A rip I made with whatever newfound strength I have.

“You are Elivienne de Cassas – Lady Elivienne de Cassas, to be exact. Daughter of Xristopher and Elmira de Cassas.”

“I—” Words fail. They fail me so horribly that I shudder because those shards of truth I have held onto since my awakening are dulling.

“I know you don’t remember them or yourself. But this is what I can offer you, a kernel of yourself.”

My head begins to spin, the nausea from earlier creeps up my throat. I quickly turn to the side and vomit whatever was in my stomach. Mostly a dry heave but what came out was a dark, thick liquid.

“Is that…” I start, eyes locked on the puddle in front of me.

“Blood, yes. We tried to feed you while you were asleep, but it was unsuccessful most days,” she responds, walking over to a closet next to the stairs. From the closet she reveals a dark robe of velvet maroon and black embroidered with a silver lining. Like the rugs in the corridor.

My eyes return to what is in front of me. I threw up blood.

“You tried to feed me blood?”

“It was the only thing your body would respond to.”

“Why would I respond to blood? You put that down my throat?” I point at the stain. “Blood from whom?” Perhaps they tried to transfuse it into me orally.

Avonde looks at me quizzically and shakes her head before changing the topic. “There is a cottage on the east end of the grounds used for foreign courtiers, but it has been arranged that you will stay there.” Avonde moves behind me, arms looping beneath my shoulders to pull me up. She pulls the robe on me with gentle ease before moving to the front to tie it shut.

“I’m just supposed to stay here?” I ask again. Nothing makes sense, but there is only so much I can do right now. I had blood in me. I’m not well, but Sawyer first has to come for me and then we can leave.

Avonde sighs, meeting my gaze. “Yes, until we know what to do with you.” This woman is full of sighs, but I see sadness in her eyes. “You’re not a prisoner, if you’re wondering.”

“What about Sawyer?”

“He is not and has never been. Like yourself.” This is all she can offer me.

I keep my thoughts internal, breaking eye contact as exhausted tears well in my eyes. Everything is happening too fast. Too suddenly. I don’t understand. They’re confused. More confused than I am.

But two things I am sure of.

One, I need to find Sawyer.

Two, we need to leave here immediately.

Sawyer never did come to find me before I was led from the castle, though I can’t stop looking over my shoulder or catching a glance at alcoves, hoping he’s there waiting. Exhaustion weighs my body and mind down. Avonde stopped answering questions and I stopped asking them.

“It is best we avoid any other encounters with people from your past,” Avonde mentions as she guides me through the service wing of the castle. A black carriage with silver wheels pulls up along the gravel outside the entrance. The horses leading are far more luxurious than what we had at the farm. I admit that I find it hard to resist not stroking their manes.

The cottage is a short carriage ride away from the main castle. The grounds roll with green fields, bordered by stone walls and carvings. To know that places like this actually exist is still a marvel in itself. The amount of water and care it would take to ensure natural life like this could thrive is thrilling. Outside the back entrance of the castle is a large fountain surrounded by blooming beds of flowers. Though the day has gone, I can still see their petals swaying in the breeze. I can only imagine what the front entrance looks like.

Driving the carriage is Lee, a middle-aged-looking man in semi-formal wear. To his credit, he keeps the conversation at a minimum, which I am thankful for. I was sent alone, but perhaps being alone is just what I need.

Lee tells me that Avonde and the rest of the cess will be visiting in the morning.