Page 92 of By the Flames of Her Fury

She turned to walk inside her room, and I reached for her fingers. “Vera, don’t do this. Don’t shut me out. I’m not trying to attack you.”

She paused with her back still to me. “I know you’re worried, but Arcadia and the Elders…they have answers.” She faced me again. “And I—I need to know more. I need to know why I have the same magic as them, and why I have the power to raise a kingdom. And maybe they know why Mortep was looking for this place to begin with. What if he⁠—”

“Is this still about him?” I shook my head in frustration. “He’s dead, Vera. We watched him disappear. You eventually have to let go and take care of yourself. Don’t let him continue to control your life.”

She took a step back. “Let go?” she whispered. “You think it’s that easy?”

“I don’t think any of this is easy,” I said, more forcefully than I intended. “But you have to try. Try to let go and move on.”

“I have been trying, Everett.”

“No, you’ve been running,” I bit out. I moved until her back brushed the wall, then braced one hand above her head, close enough that I could feel the heat coming off her skin. “First toward revenge, now for answers. I wanted, just once, for you to run to me. To choose me.”

The truth burned my tongue. I hadn’t realized I’d been holding on to it for so long. The betrayal of her walking away from me hadn’t fully sunk in until I was about to watch her do it all over again, for people we didn’t even know.

The pulse at her neck thrummed. “I did choose you, Everett,” she argued. “Over and over again, every time I dropped everything to save your life was because I can’t lose you!”

I couldn’t tell if I was more frustrated or desperate for her. My arm strained above her head with the force it took not to grab her right here. Her chest heaved, grazing mine with each breath. Fates, I wanted what she said to be true. I wanted it to be enough.

“Maybe you can’t lose me,” I said, “but you haven’t chosen me, either.” Her body stiffened, and I pulled away. “You were going to let me walk away tonight. You were going to stay behind and watch the rest of us sail off forever. You’re getting ready to run again, Vera, just like you did last year.”

“That’s not fair,” she said icily. “You can’t throw that at me every time you’re upset.”

“Yes, I can!” I hissed. “Because it’s the truth. Don’t you see what’s happening? They know exactly what to say to manipulate you.” The words spilled from me faster than I could stop them. “I saw the way you looked at them when they showed you their magic. You’re falling for the stories of these strangers just because they tell you you belong.”

“You don’t get to decide where I do or don’t belong,” she responded heatedly.

“I never said I did.”

“That’s all you’ve ever done!” she cried, no longer keeping her voice down. “I was a prisoner before I even took my first steps. I was ripped from my family and forced to learn how to survive, while I should’ve been learning how to live. And when I finally got away, you had it all figured out for me.” She pointed at me, angry tears slipping from her eyes. “You and Nox had already decided who I was supposed to be on the other side of things. Where I was supposed to belong. And you can’t stand the fact that it might not be with you.”

Her words were a slap across the face. “What, and you really think it’s with these people? Or with your precious captain?” I spat.

“Why do you even care?” she snapped. “You were the one who said we’d go our separate ways. You were the one who said you’d walk away from me once we found Mortep.”

“Because I thought that was what you wanted!” I raked my fingers down my face. “I told you I still loved you, and you looked me in the eyes and said that wasn’t enough. What else was I supposed to do?”

“Nothing.” She wiped angrily at a stray tear. “You were right. That’s what’s best for both of us, isn’t it?”

I clenched my jaw and gripped the doorframe to keep from punching a wall. She was trying to push me away again, like she had that night on the ship. I didn’t want to play these games anymore. I was exhausted from fighting with her, from fighting for her, but still, I couldn’t bring myself to walk away.

“Is everything alright here?” a voice said behind me. I instantly stiffened. Of course, it was him.

“It’s fine, Starke,” I said gruffly, not bothering to turn around.

“I was asking Vera.”

His words buzzed through my ears, heating me with more anger. This time, I did turn. Starke’s eyebrow was raised, that arrogant stare crossing accusatorily between Vera and me.

Forget the wall, I wanted to punch him.

“I’m fine,” Vera said, clearing her throat and discreetly wiping the final tear away. “Did you need something, Starke?”

He stepped in front of me, shooting me a look before cutting me off from her. “I heard loud voices and wanted to make sure you were alright.”

“It’s nothing,” she said.

“Good. Can we talk for a second?” Starke asked, then looked over his shoulder at me. I met Vera’s eyes, searching for any sign, any hint that she wanted me to stay.