Page 33 of The Intimacy of Control

“No offense to your grandma, but absolutely not. I may be bad, but I’m not that bad. Besides, I don’t wear them all the time.”

“Should you be?”

“Oh, most definitely. I have really shitty vision.”

I smiled, looking at the gorgeous brown of his eyes. I wanted to keep staring into them and fantasize about how they looked when he took control of me. There was always so much confidence and power in them. “I like them on you. They’re kinda hot.”

Curling his lip, he shook his head. “I’ve never liked how they look on me. No matter the frame or color. They’re also fucking annoying. Let me leave these with Andros, and we can go.”

Now that I knew he had a pair at home, I was absolutely going to beg him to wear them for me. Did I like admitting that? No. But who was I to resist something like Forrest in his glasses?

“It kind of makes me sad that you’re an only child.” Forrest reached across the table to grab the ketchup. “My favorite pastime is annoying my little brother. I think his is annoying me and annoying our mamá, too.”

I shoved a fry into my mouth, not eating it yet. I liked to lick all the salt off first before I bit into it. It was a habit I’d picked up from my dad. “Maybe Callum is secretly my little brother, then.”

“How long have you guys been friends?”

“A few years now. Our friendship had a weird start, honestly.”

He tore a piece of his sandwich apart. “Do tell.”

All the salt was gone from my fry, so I finally plopped it into my mouth. “Well, I was at the hospital. My grandma was really sick near the end of her life. She had double pneumonia, it turned into sepsis, and her body couldn’t handle it.” I picked up another fry, looking at all the salt crystals on it. “She’d just flatlined. I went into the hallway to cry because I didn’t want her spirit to see me lose my shit. I was absolutely hysterical. As I stepped out, I heard crying from the other side, only to find Callum standing in front of me, sobbing his eyes out as well. He looked horrified that some random person was seeing him break down like that. I asked him why he was there. He said, “Grandpa,” I said, “Grandma,” and we…cried together. The rest was history.”

“Holy shit. I’m glad you guys found each other for that. Did his grandpa pass as well?”

Shaking my head, I leaned back against the booth seat. “No. He had a fall, but he ended up being okay. He did recently pass, though.”

Forrest frowned. “That must be really difficult. I’m so sorry for your loss. And his.”

I pursed my lips together. “I’ve had time, and he’s had me and Tobi. It’s going to be difficult for a long time for him, but we’ll make sure he gets through it.”

“That’s good. I’m really glad.”

“Yeah. Me too.” I stared at the milkshake in front of me. I wanted to reach out for it, but I’d already let my eyes unfocus, and it felt too good to make them focus again. I didn’t want to move, either. Remembering the absolute mess I was after Grandma died always brought back this enormous weight on my chest and body, like something was physically weighing me down. Maybe my body didn’t want to forget how that felt, just like it didn’t want to forget that day in the ocean. A constant reminder of what it was to lose control. Control of life. Control of death.

Fuck, the milkshake looked good. I took a deep breath, content to keep staring at the glass like it had some magical wisdom in it. “We need to clean his papa’s house out soon. He’s going to end up needing to sell it, but I’m not sure if he’s ready to.”

“Does the house still have a mortgage?”

“From the way Cal was talking, I think so.”

Forrest hummed as he chewed. “I’d ask. If it’s paid off, he wouldn’t have to rush selling it. He could keep it for as long as he wanted to. Otherwise, he’ll have to pay for two houses every month, but if he’s got the means, then he should go for it.”

That was true. I’d assumed the house was still being paid off, but I didn’t know if that was Callum’s childhood home or if it was newer. “I’ll talk to him about it. I hadn’t really thought of that before.”

“My Papi died when I was a kid. Mamá hadn’t worked since I was born, so she was in absolute shambles. We had to move, and I don’t remember a whole bunch, but I do remember how sad and stressed she was. She had to sell the house really quickly because it was too much for one person with two kids, but I know she would've kept it if she could.”

I finally forced my eyes to focus, looking at him. “Shit. I’m so sorry. That must’ve been hard being that young.”

Shaking his head, he picked up his lemonade and shook the glass, making the ice shuffle around. “I really was very young. Young enough I don’t remember him very much. I mean, I missed the idea of him for a long time, you know? I grieved not having the same experience as the other kids my age who had a living father. But it got easier as I got older. We keep an eye on Mamá and try to be there for her as much as possible. I actually need to set up a dinner with her and my brother soon.”

“That’s really good. I’m glad you guys are close to her like that.”

“I worry about her. We both do. What about you?”

I finally picked up my milkshake, twisting the straw around in the glass. “What about me?”

“Are you close with your parents?”