Page 76 of The Intimacy of Finding You

I held the side of his face as he tilted his head back to look at me. “What?”

“When we get married, we should write our vows on pieces of cardstock and put them in here.”

Not an if, but a when. When we got married. Fuck, that simple sentence did nothing but spark a fire in my heart. There was no fear or hesitation. No dread. No worry. All I could think about was how badly I wanted that for us—rings on our fingers, the same last name, and a lifetime of holding each other’s hearts.

Yeah, I wanted that.

I closed the box, letting it rest on top of my thighs. “That sounds perfect, baby. Absolutely perfect.”

We watched Fishy have the time of his life, parading through the thawing snow on the ground beneath the moonlit sky. Aside from the gentle breeze carrying through the shed, we were silent. Nothing needed to be said because we already knew.

We’d loved each other for the past twelve years, and there was absolutely nothing that could change that. No amount of time, or distance, or grief, or sadness could change that love. That devotion. We’d fought for it. We’d fought so fucking hard, and here we were.

Together.

Watching the stars twinkle and our dog play while hot chocolate waited for us on the kitchen counter. Our clothes were mixed together in a dresser in the bedroom, half mine, half his. Our chefs' jackets were hung up side by side in the closet. Our bed didn’t have a line in the middle, keeping us from touching each other. My house keys were hung up by the front door, never to be moved.

I was here to stay, and so was the love I had for Callum, a name I’d convinced myself was taboo for a decade.

I loved my life. I loved my friends. I loved my mom. I loved my boyfriend.

I was happy.

And so fucking ready for the rest of our lives. Together. Just me and him against the rest of the world, knowing we could face anything and come out on the other side with our hearts and our love still intact.

Feeling as light as a feather, I had ended the cycle.

chapter thirty-six

Everything was set up, ready for when Tobi got home. Jack stood by the porch railing while I gently rocked my rocking chair, letting the breeze take my hair with it. It was starting to get dark, the last evidence of dusk slowly disappearing as the moon got ready to take over. I was anxious. What else was new?

Jack sighed, crossing his arms. “He’s gonna love it, dude. You just like to freak yourself out over anything and everything.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “That’s par for the course. Be nice to me.”

“Why do I have to be nice to you?”

“Because you love me and value our friendship.”

He raised an eyebrow. “That’s pushing it.”

“Oh, shut up. Just humor me, then. Let me freak out.”

“No, no, no.” A gust of wind blew through, making his shirt flare. “This is me valuing our friendship and loving you. You’re freaking out over nothing, so I’m going to tell you it’s nothing.”

My car pulled into the driveway just as he finished his sentence. I was absolutely having a silent disco in my head, and there was nothing I could really do about it. I’d just have to wait and see his reaction.

Jack grabbed his keys from the small porch table. “Alright, man. Have fun. Wear a condom.”

I leaned forward, putting out my cigarette in the ashtray and shooing him away. “Wow. Okay, dad. Just get out of here.”

“You’re welcome!” He shouted from down the steps.

He passed by Tobi, giving him a quick goodbye. Tobi scrunched his eyebrows together, walking up the chairs. “Why was he in such a rush? He not stayin’ for supper?”

I had to clear my throat to get anything out, all the words I’d usually be able to say jumbling up. “Uh, no. No, he was helping me with something is all.”

“Hm.” He took a seat on the rocking chair beside me, sighing as he sank into it. “Well, this is nice.”