Page 42 of The Quiet Rebuild

“I don’t want them to think about me,” Taylor told her. “I want them to think about the foundation.”

Her agent stuttered. “Um? All right.”

There was a strangled moment of silence. Taylor tried to picture her agent in her brightly lit office in Santa Monica. Always, she wore linen and little sandals. She’d busted herself over the years to secure gigs for Taylor and Taylor’s career and Taylor’s dreams.

Could Taylor really abandon her like this?

“Listen,” Taylor began.

But her agent already had something else to say. “If all things go well at The Today Show, we can line up another string of interviews in New York City that week. I’m thinking everything from podcasts to appearances with videographers and social media stars. What are you thinking? If you’re in, I can get started right away.”

Taylor was taken aback. She hadn’t been thinking about the media strategy. She’d been thinking about oceans, ocean life, and ocean birds. But she reasoned now that she needed to get the word out about her foundation to as many people as possible. Maybe her agent could help?

“I’m in,” Taylor said, surprised at the joy in her voice. “Let’s do it!”

When Taylor returned to the breakfast table, Lindsey and Candice turned and asked, “Did you fire her?” in unison.

Taylor laughed and shook her head. “Who wants to go to the city next week?”

Both Candice and Lindsey said they were in.

The next few days sped by. Taylor monitored the delivery of sofas, a dining room table, and multiple chairs. She went to the grocery store, cooked herself delightful and healthy dinners, made more spreadsheets, and practiced speaking in the mirror about her environmental foundation. It wasn’t till Friday—three days before she was set to appear on the news—that her agent called her and told her, panicking, “You don’t have a name for your foundation!”

This was true. Always, Taylor had assumed the name would fall from the sky at the right time. But it was crunch time. The Today Show would need a name as soon as possible. So Taylor called Lindsey and Candice for an emergency meeting to discuss names. Lindsey invited Jake along for the ride, and Candice dragged Frank along as well. They met at the Salty Pirate, a fun and lively Nantucket bar filled with islanders. For hours, they mulled over names.

“I guess the Salty Pirate is taken?” Frank joked, staring into his glass of beer.

Taylor laughed. “I don’t want to steal anything from anyone.”

“Everything is already taken!” Candice said. “There’s another Harbor House near Big Sur. And there’s another one somewhere in Latin America. We didn’t know till after we established the name.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to steal on purpose,” Taylor said.

“Maybe something to do with oceans?” Jake suggested. “Ocean Alert. Or Ocean Star.”

“Ocean Star?” Lindsey asked, smile widening.

They burst into laughter.

“You’re right. It’s terrible,” Jake affirmed.

Taylor was quiet, furrowing her brow. When the name occurred to her—when it literally dropped out of the sky—she was initially too frightened to say it aloud. She didn’t want to upset Lindsey. “I don’t know,” she whispered, “but what about something to do with Maya? Maya’s Ocean, maybe.”

Lindsey’s lips parted with surprise. But there wasn’t anger in her eyes, not even a hint of it. Taylor knew she hadn’t overstepped.

“She loved the ocean,” Lindsey affirmed, her eyes fluttering to the table. “It would be a beautiful way to memorialize her, if that’s something you want to do.”

Taylor’s heart swelled. “It is.” She couldn’t imagine a better way to uphold the life of her dear friend’s daughter, a little girl she’d never been allowed to know. If only timing had been different. If only Maya could have lived to be a teenager and an adult.

When they left the bar that night, Lindsey threw her arms around Taylor and thanked her. “Maya is more real to me every day, now that I’ve faced the past,” she said. “Thank you for facing it with me.”

On Sunday afternoon, Taylor, Lindsey, and Candice set out for New York City in Candice’s car. Their trunk was lined with suitcases, most of them Taylor’s, as she was finding it difficult to decide what to wear on television. She remembered the days of having a stylist, of having someone make all those decisions for her. But she told herself those days were through.

As they neared the city, Taylor noticed that Candice’s eyes looked dreamier and dreamier. She understood that NYC had been Candice’s home for decades. It was the place where she’d had her babies and built her career. It was the place where her husband had ripped their family in two. Taylor could only imagine the depths of sorrow Candice swam through as a result. But still, she’d leaped at the chance to go back.

It was decided that Candice would stay with a friend not far from her old place, so she could meet her daughter, Sarah, when Sarah had time. Taylor and Lindsey grabbed rooms in the same hotel, mid-size ones that didn’t cost an arm and a leg, as Taylor’s money was now meant for a greater purpose than personal comforts. To unwind at the end of the day, they had dinner in the hotel restaurant, then had a small glass of wine before retiring. Taylor was meant to be at The Today Show at three thirty in the morning to prepare. Lindsey and Candice were going to come around six thirty so they could watch the interview behind the cameras on set.

As their wines emptied, Lindsey caught Taylor’s eye and asked her if she was nervous. “I guess you’ve been on camera thousands of times,” Lindsey said, backtracking. “Nerves probably have nothing to do with it.”