Page 73 of Mate of a Monster

“Oh, that’s filthy.” He passes it to me, eyes already glazing. “Try it.”

It hits the back of my throat like warm smoke and cold water at the same time, contradictions dissolving into something that loosens every muscle in my shoulders. My head goes light. The colored lights on the walls seem to breathe slower, or maybe I’m breathing slower. Hard to tell.

“This is…” I start, then lose the sentence somewhere between my brain and my mouth.

Zev howls with laughter, rolling onto his side. “Your face. Your fucking face right now.”

“Shut up.”

“You look like a baby deer on ice.”

“I will end you.”

He laughs harder. I laugh, too, and it surprises me. The sound feels foreign in my chest, like a hinge that hasn’t been oiled in months. But it comes, and it keeps coming. Soon, we’re both on the floor because the bed feels too far away and the rug is soft enough. The lights are doing something spectacular on the ceiling that neither of us can describe, but both of us find it deeply, unreasonably funny.

But slowly the laughter dies and I feel Zev’s eyes on me.

“Are you okay?”

My lips purse.

“Luda, come on, talk to me.”

Sighing, I shrug against the floor. “Define okay?”

“Was it hard to see him?”

The ache in my chest is swift and deep. Zev’s hand is suddenly over mine, lacing our fingers together.

“I didn’t think it would be.” So, yes. It was.

“And it was worse when you saw her?”

My eyes close and I breathe deep, my lungs expanding with each second.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he whispers. “I would have convinced the Nightkin to let us plan your return together. Differently.”

“What does that mean?”

“You haven’t figured it out yet?” I look over and he continues, a soft hook to the corner of his lips. “We both knew you’d kill me eventually. It was your favorite pastime, after all.” A quiet laugh escapes me, resulting in one of his own as he shrugs. “He knew, just like I did, that even if you didn’t want to come back for that dumbass royal, you would come for me.”

I want to be mad, but frankly that was a good plan. “Well played, you two.”

“Thank you, Hellpet.” I smile against my better judgment, because while his words are condescending, the beast purred them through my mind.

Clearing my throat, I look up at the weird lights again, not wanting to do this mushy stuff.

“I’m going to kill her.”

The declaration silences them both as Zev’s fingers tighten around my own.

They already know.

I will kill her.

The real worry is, can I control myself enough not to kill him, too?

Chapter Sixteen