Page 124 of Death is Familiar

Sometimes I saw Imaginary Todd out of the corner of my eye, and on occasion, I’d still try—and fail—to imagine him with hair. I toyed with it in my mind, but everything looked like an ill-fitting wig.

That is how I kept my sanity. As much as a person kept in captivity, hallucinating their friend with different hair styles could be considered sane.

I tried to logic my way into any of this making sense. Provide myself with a rationale that what I was doing was for self-preservation. To keep my mind occupied enough that I wouldn’t fall into the lull of inaction. Or revisit my pit.

Todd was the logical choice. I couldn’t think of Jack. Thinking of him was too sensitive and raw, and brought me right back to where I was. On a loop. I’d think of Jack, how he’d been kind. How he felt hot and heavy against my skin. The slide of his tongue. The grate and grind and friction and want that resulted in me ending up here…

It wasn’t true, I told myself. Being with Jack wasn’t what caused me to be in this hellhole. The Seal would’ve found me, would have done this to me, whether or not Jack had been part of the picture.

But if I wanted to keep my mind elsewhere, to escape reality, Jack was off limits.

Besides it felt good, to pretend I was on the couch with Todd, watching fifty-somethings argue over the best way to bake a brie—which I was fairly certain was a cheese that could be eaten cold. It also felt good to imagine myself punching him. Just once, really hard, in the arm. He’d smile. He could take it.

And maybe we’d make idle chatter, and I’d get to know his daughters better. Remy and Rory. I’d like Remy, she was cute, smart, and if I was lucky enough, would want my passenger to end up the same way—full of fire.

That was enough. I was enough. I was going to get out. And get the vamp case back on track to boot.

†

Bang!

The metal door flung open as Madame strode into the room, beelining for the keys hooked on the far wall. Warden White followed close on her heels, carrying a large teetering bucket.

A sudden change like this couldn’t be good. Maybe I asked too many questions. Maybe I put too many ideas into White’s head about what would happen to Three that Madame now considered her a liability.

Trying to hide my alarm, I got to my feet. Slowly.

“No need to escalate. Not yet,” the grumpy tattooed man in my peripheral vision signed. Well, that was new, but I’d worry about that later. “Take a deep breath.”

I did as I was told, as I tried to assess the situation. Three seemed unnerved, which meant neither of us knew what was going on.

“What’s happening?” I asked.

“You’ve made it past twelve weeks. Congratulations.” Madame twisted the key in Three’s door. “And we’ve decided to celebrate your accomplishment by granting you your wish.”

Wish? What wish?

I looked to White for answers and only found him red and flustered, as he lowered the bucket next to my cage. His expression unreadable.

“Well, come on, darling.” Madame’s attentions were on Three as she held open the cage door. “We haven’t got all day.”

Three quick-stepped towards Madame. “Where are we going?”

“Two is getting what she wanted. A shower,” Madame pointed at the bucket, “and you, my dear, are going to get some time outside in the sun.”

I tried to use Warden White’s reaction as a gauge to see if Madame was lying, but his face was impassive. Or he was about to pass out, I wasn’t quite sure which. As White huffed and puffed, I conducted a quick inspection of the bucket’s contents.

No wonder Warden White was out of breath. The bucket was filled nearly to the brim with soapy water, an oversized sponge floating at the surface.

He may have been a ‘doctor’ but he couldn’t have been that bright if he carried a bucket full of water down a few flights of stairs. He could have just filled the bucket with the tap we had on hand.

Despite the lack of brain space White used, and every reason I had to be distrustful of the situation, it stood to reason, that if the bucket was for bathing, then Madame could very well be bringing Three outside for some fresh air.

Still, it didn’t sit well with me that Three was being taken to a secondary location, now that my passenger hit the twelve-week mark.

The Seal was under no obligation to tell me the truth. I knew that for a fact. But making Three anxious when I wasn’t in a position to do anything about it wouldn’t help anyone. Either she was being taken for some sun, or she wasn’t, and the only thing I could do about it was to confirm whether or not Three was going to return, and if not, the only course of action I had was to appeal to White’s humanity. Without Madame around.

I managed to give Three an encouraging nod as Madame whisked her away and out the heavy metal door, leaving just Warden White and me in the room.