Page 61 of A Solid Guide to Surviving a Situationship

“It wasn’t that deep,” I lied.

Andre didn’t respond.

He just waited.

I ran a hand through my hair. “It was just… a situationship.”

“With Victor,” he said.

I glanced at him and nodded.

“It was just that,” I repeated. “We were together. But not officially. No labels.”

Silence settled between us.

“I didn’t lose a boyfriend,” I continued, more defensive now. “There was nothing to lose, technically. That’s the whole point, right? No label, no expectations⁠—”

“No accountability,” Andre cut in.

I blinked. “Yeah. And I still died a couple of heartbreaking deaths because of it.”

Andre looked at me, more direct this time.

“You didn’t lose him though,” he said.

I frowned. “I did, hence why this… heartbreaking existence.”

“You didn’t lose him,” he repeated slowly. “You lost the version of yourself you were becoming with him.”

“That’s worse.”

“Exactly.”

I went still.

“But you need to stop acting like you lost something real,” he said.

I let out a small, humorless laugh. “Wow. Okay. That’s harsh.”

“I didn’t say it wasn’t real to you,” he clarified. “I said it wasn’t real in structure.”

I didn’t answer.

“Look,” he continued. “You’re grieving something that never had rules. No label, no agreement, no direction. You built meaning on top of something that was never required to hold it.”

“That doesn’t make it hurt less,” I muttered.

“I know,” he said. “But it tells you where the pain is actually coming from.”

I glanced at him. “Which is?”

“You,” he said simply.

I blinked. “Explain.”

“Not in a bad way,” he added. “I mean—you’re not hurting because he left. You’re hurt because of what you gave.”

That made me pause.