Page 195 of A Solid Guide to Surviving a Situationship

8. Chemistry does not mean compatibility

Just because the tension was insane, the eye contact felt illegal, and kissing them made you forget your passwords, your phone number, and the teachings of the Lord, doesn’t mean you’re actually good for each other long-term.

Sometimes chemistry is just mutual damage finding each other hot.

And the thing about chemistry? Sometimes it explodes. And in the emotional sense of things, it explodes inside.

*wink *wink

7. Hope can keep people trapped in places that are already hurting them

Sometimes you’re not staying because things are good anymore. You’re staying because you keep replaying the versions of them that existed for, like… three beautiful Tuesdays and one emotionally available weekend in June.

Hope is dangerous like that. It can turn breadcrumbs into prophecies.

You start falling in love with potential instead of reality.

And suddenly you’re fighting harder for who they could be than who they consistently showed you.

And I mean it—what they showed you is who they are, not the one you keep putting on the pedestal in your mind.

6. Love is not enough to make someone choose you

You can be kind, patient, understanding, attractive, emotionally available, funny, and willing to communicate—and someone will still look at all the love and say, “I don’t know.” Devastating. Humbling. Character development-ing, unfortunately.

Because sometimes people meet you at the right time in your life but the wrong time in theirs. And no amount of loving harder can force someone into readiness, clarity, or emotional maturity.

You cannot keep auditioning your way into being chosen.

5. Love should feel safe, not confusing

Okay.

I know I’ve been joking a lot, but from here on out, the lessons get a little less funny. Because unfortunately, this is where heartbreak starts costing you things.

If you constantly feel anxious, scared to speak, terrified of losing them, overanalyzing texts like you’re the FBI, and crying after ‘good morning’ messages, and throwing up because they replied with ‘haha’ instead of ‘HAHAHAHASKSKSK,’ that is not butterflies.

That is your nervous system begging for help.

That is your nervous system entering fight-or-flight over a man who probably sleeps peacefully at night.

Good news though: Doctor James Valle is here with a diagnosis.

They are not your one and true love. You are emotionally attached to inconsistency.

Fix your nervous system by doing activities outside of just staring at the ceiling. And one day, you’ll suddenly realize that “mixed signals” become significantly less attractive.

4. The longer you tolerate disrespect, the more normal it starts to feel

At some point, your standards stop lowering dramatically and just quietly move underground. Suddenly you’re accepting behavior that would’ve made your friends create a group chat named, BABE STAND UP!

You start explaining away things that hurt you. Minimizing them. Rationalizing them. Calling emotional neglect ‘they’re just overwhelmed right now.’

Meanwhile your soul is in the corner smoking a cigarette.

So, let me say this clearly: passion is not an excuse for disrespect.

Someone being intense, wounded, traumatized, mysterious, avoidant, brooding, sexy, or emotionally constipated does not give them permission to treat you badly.