Page 18 of A Solid Guide to Surviving a Situationship

Andre laughed. “And from experience, gay men move faster.”

Mel looked amused. “Honestly, that’s what it sounds like.”

“Darling,” Honey said, “when two men date, there is no one in the relationship who’s slowing things down.”

“And that’s how we end up with a three-month situationship that feels like a five-year relationship,” I said, quietly zoning out.

“So,” Andi leaned forward, “what’s it called when you’re only attracted to people who are inconsistent and emotionally unavailable?”

Silence fell for a moment.

“Low self-respect,” Honey answered.

Everyone gagged at it.

“What?” Honey straightened proudly. “That’s the core of it all, guys.”

She was not wrong.

Then Andre raised his glass. “Well, if modern dating is depressing, I vote we stop talking about it.”

Andi lifted her glass too.

“It’s James’ birthday,” Mel followed.

“To James,” Andi said.

“To healing,” Honey added.

“And to more bad decisions in life,” Andi said, that earned another burst of laughter.

But not from me.

Even though I was surrounded with everything I needed—and the people who loved me—I still couldn’t help feeling alone.

Then, somewhere between the wine and the conversation, something inside my chest shifted.

The conversation about Victor opened something up.

At first it was small—just a quiet heaviness pressing behind my ribs.

Then it sank quickly and deeper.

The room blurred slightly. And before I could even stop it, tears slipped down my face.

No warning.

No dramatic prelude.

Everyone noticed immediately.

“James…” Mel said softly.

I wiped my cheek, embarrassed. “Sorry. I don’t even know why I’m⁠—”

But my voice cracked.

Great. Now I was crying on my own birthday.