Page 176 of A Solid Guide to Surviving a Situationship

I still couldn’t fully fathom how I cried for three straight months for him to reduce it to a ‘difficult time.’

I set down my fork carefully.

“That’s not what I meant,” I said.

Victor’s expression hardened just slightly.

“Then what do you mean?”

I hesitated, because part of me already knew this conversation was dangerous. Because once we stepped fully into it, there was no pretending anymore.

And I didn’t want to pretend anymore.

So, I asked anyway, “Why did it end like that?”

Victor looked away briefly this time, eyes drifting toward the hanging lights above us before returning to me.

“You know why.”

“No,” I said quietly, but more firmly now. “I know we fought. I know I raised my voice. But I don’t think I understand why everything after that felt like I stopped existing to you.”

That landed.

I saw it in the way his grip tightened around the fork and knife in his hands.

But when he spoke again, his tone stayed frustratingly even.

“I needed space.”

“For months?”

“James—”

“No, because even now, I’m still trying to understand,” I said quickly, my voice still soft but no longer retreating. “I apologized. Repeatedly. Explained myself. I came to your apartment like a devoted dog begging to be loved. And every damn time, it felt like you already decided there’s no more us.”

Victor exhaled slowly through his nose.

People around us continued eating, talking, and laughing.

Meanwhile, it suddenly felt like all the oxygen had disappeared from our table.

“You hurt me,” he said finally.

There it was

Simple. Direct. But still incomplete.

My throat tightened.

“But you hurt me too,” I replied. “Over and over and over. And yet I forgave you. I let things pass. I chose us over your uncertainty, your mixed signals, your subtle cruelty.”

Victor’s eyes lifted to mine again immediately.

And for the first time that night, something colder entered his expression.

“I don’t think this is the place for this conversation,” he said.

“But this is the conversation we keep avoiding.”